The Conjure Woman by Charles W. Chesnutt (7 ebook reader .TXT) 📕

en funnin’ en frolic’in’ fum sundown ’tel mawnin’.”

“And they all lived happy ever after,” I said, as the old man reached a full stop.

“Yas, suh,” he said, interpreting my remarks as a question, “dey did. Solomon useter say,” he added, “dat Aun’ Peggy’s goopher had turnt Mars Jeems ter a nigger, en dat dat noo han’ wuz Mars Jeems hisse’f. But co’se Solomon didn’ das’ ter let on ’bout w’at he ’spicioned, en ole Aun’ Peggy would ’a’ ’nied it ef she had be’n ax’, fer she’d ’a’ got in trouble sho’, ef it ’uz knowed she’d be’n cunj’in’ de w’ite folks.

“Dis yer tale goes ter show,” concluded Julius sententiously, as the man came up and announced that the spring was ready for us to get water, “dat w’ite folks w’at is so ha’d en stric’, en doan make no ’lowance fer po’ ign’ant niggers w’at ain’ had no chanst ter l’arn, is li’ble ter hab bad dreams, ter say de leas’, en dat dem w’at is kin’ en good ter po’ people is sho’ ter prosper en git ’long in de worl’.”

“That is a very strange story, Uncle Julius,” observed my wife, smiling, “and Solomon’s explanation is quite improbable.”

“Yes, Julius,” said I, “that was powerful goopher. I am glad, too, that you told us the moral of the story; it might have escaped us otherwise. By the way, did you make that up all by yourself?”

The old man’s face assumed an injured look, expressive more of sorrow than of anger, and shaking his head he replied:⁠—

“No, suh, I heared dat tale befo’ you er Mis’ Annie dere wuz bawn, suh. My mammy tol’ me dat tale w’en I wa’n’t mo’ d’n knee-high ter a hopper-grass.”

I drove to town next morning, on some business, and did not return until noon; and after dinner I had to visit a neighbor, and did not get back until suppertime. I was smoking a cigar on the back piazza in the early evening, when I saw a familiar figure carrying a bucket of water to the barn. I called my wife.

“My dear,” I said severely, “what is that rascal doing here? I thought I discharged him yesterday for good and all.”

“Oh, yes,” she answered, “I forgot to tell you. He was hanging round the place all the morning, and looking so down in the mouth, that I told him that if he would try to do better, we would give him one more chance. He seems so grateful, and so really in earnest in his promises of amendment, that I’m sure you’ll not regret taking him back.”

I was seriously enough annoyed to let my cigar go out. I did not share my wife’s rose-colored hopes in regard to Tom; but as I did not wish the servants to think there was any conflict of authority in the household, I let the boy stay.

The Conjurer’s Revenge

Sunday was sometimes a rather dull day at our place. In the morning, when the weather was pleasant, my wife and I would drive to town, a distance of about five miles, to attend the church of our choice. The afternoons we spent at home, for the most part, occupying ourselves with the newspapers and magazines, and the contents of a fairly good library. We had a piano in the house, on which my wife played with skill and feeling. I possessed a passable baritone voice, and could accompany myself indifferently well when my wife was not by to assist me. When these resources failed us, we were apt to find it a little dull.

One Sunday afternoon in early spring⁠—the balmy spring of North Carolina, when the air is in that ideal balance between heat and cold where one wishes it could always remain⁠—my wife and I were seated on the front piazza, she wearily but conscientiously ploughing through a missionary report, while I followed the impossible career of the blonde heroine of a rudimentary novel. I had thrown the book aside in disgust, when I saw Julius coming through the yard, under the spreading elms, which were already in full leaf. He wore his Sunday clothes, and advanced with a dignity of movement quite different from his weekday slouch.

“Have a seat, Julius,” I said, pointing to an empty rocking-chair.

“No, thanky, boss, I’ll des set here on de top step.”

“Oh, no, Uncle Julius,” exclaimed Annie, “take this chair. You will find it much more comfortable.”

The old man grinned in appreciation of her solicitude, and seated himself somewhat awkwardly.

“Julius,” I remarked, “I am thinking of setting out scuppernong vines on that sand-hill where the three persimmon-trees are; and while I’m working there, I think I’ll plant watermelons between the vines, and get a little something to pay for my first year’s work. The new railroad will be finished by the middle of summer, and I can ship the melons North, and get a good price for them.”

“Ef you er gwine ter hab any mo’ ploughin’ ter do,” replied Julius, “I ’spec’ you’ll ha’ ter buy ernudder creetur, ’ca’se hit’s much ez dem hosses kin do ter ’ten’ ter de wuk dey got now.”

“Yes, I had thought of that. I think I’ll get a mule; a mule can do more work, and doesn’t require as much attention as a horse.”

“I wouldn’ ’vise you ter buy no mule,” remarked Julius, with a shake of his head.

“Why not?”

“Well, you may ’low hit’s all foolis’ness, but ef I wuz in yo’ place, I wouldn’ buy no mule.”

“But that isn’t a reason; what objection have you to a mule?”

“Fac’ is,” continued the old man, in a serious tone, “I doan lack ter dribe a mule. I’s alluz afeared I mought be imposin’ on some human creetur; eve’y time I cuts a mule wid a hick’ry, ’pears ter me mos’ lackly I’s cuttin’ some er my own relations, er somebody e’se w’at can’t he’p deyse’ves.”

“What put such an absurd idea into your head?” I asked.

My question was followed by a short silence,