The Witness by Grace Livingston Hill Lutz (mobi reader android TXT) 📕

Chapter 32 Pg 186

Gave The Fellowship Grip That Had Meant So Much To Each In College.

 

A Moment They Stood So,  Looking Into Each Other's Eyes,  Courtland,

Wondering,  Startled,  Questioning. It Was Gila,  Of Course! Nothing Else

Could Reach The Man's Soul And Make Him Look Like That! But What Had

Happened? Not Death! No,  Not Even Death Could Bring That Look Of Shame

And Degradation To His High-Minded Friend's Eyes.

 

As If Tennelly Had Read His Question He Spoke In A Voice So Husky With

Emotion That His Words Were Scarcely Audible: "Didn't Pat Tell You?"

 

Courtland Shook His Head.

 

Tennelly's Head Went Down,  As If He Were Waiting For Courage To Speak.

Then,  Huskily: "She's Gone,  Court!"

 

"Gone?"

 

"Left Me,  Court! She Sailed At Daybreak For Italy With Another Man."

 

Tennelly Fumbled In His Pocket And Brought Out A Crumpled Note,

Blistered With Tears. "Read It!" He Muttered,  And Turned Away To The

Window.

 

Courtland Read:

 

     Dear Lew,--I'm Sure When You Come To Your Senses

     And Get Over Some Of Your Narrow Ideas You'll Be As Much

     Relieved As I Am Over What I've Decided To Do. You And I

     Never Were Fitted For Each Other,  And I Can't Stand This

     Life Another Day. I'm Simply Perishing! It's Up To Me To Do

     Something,  For I Know,  With Your Strait-Laced Notions,  You

     Never Will! So When You Read This I Shall Be Out Of Reach,

     On My Way To Italy With Count Von Bremen. They Say There's

     Going To Be War In This Country,  Anyway,  And I Hate Such

     Things,  So I Had To Get Out Of It. You Won't Have Any

     Trouble In Getting A Divorce,  And You'll Soon Be Glad I Did

     It.

 

     As For The Kid,  If She Lives She's Much Better Off With You

     Than With Me,  For You Know I Never Could Stand Children;

     They Get On My Nerves. And,  Anyhow,  I Never Could Be All The

     Things You Tried To Make Me,  And It's Better In The End This

     Way. So Good-By,  And Don't Try To Come After Me. I Won't

     Come Back,  No Matter What You Do,  For I'm Bored To Death

     With The Last Two Years And I've Got To See Some Life!

 

                                                    Gila

 

Courtland Read The Flippant Little Note Twice Before He Trusted Himself

To Speak,  And Then He Walked Over To The Window,  Slowly Smoothing And

Folding The Crumpled Paper. A Baby's Cry In The Next Room Pierced The

Air,  And The Father Gripped The Window-Seat And Quivered As If A Bullet

Had Struck Him.

Chapter 32 Pg 187

 

Courtland Put His Hand Lovingly Within His Friend's Arm: "Nelly,  Old

Fellow," He Said,  "You Know That I Feel With You--"

 

"I Know,  Court!" With A Weary Sigh. "That's Why I Sent For You. I Had To

Have You,  Somehow!"

 

"Nelly! There Aren't Any Words Made Delicate Enough To Handle This Thing

Without Hurting. It's Raw Flesh And Full Of Nerves. There's Just One

Can Do Anything Here! I Wish You Believed In God!"

 

"I Do!" Said Tennelly,  In A Dreary Tone.

 

"He Can Come Near You And Give You Strength To Bear It. I Know,  For He

Did It For Me Once!"

 

Courtland Felt As If His Words Were Falling On Deaf Ears,  But Tennelly,

After A Pause,  Asked,  Bitterly:

 

"Why Did He Do This To Me,  If He's What You Say He Is?"

 

"I'm Not Sure That He Did,  Old Man! I Think Perhaps You And I Had A Hand

In It!"

 

Tennelly Looked At Him Keenly For An Instant And Turned Away,  Silent. "I

Know What You Mean," He Said. "You Told Me I'd Go Through Hell,  And I

Have. I Knew It In A Way Myself,  But I'm Afraid I'd Do It Again! I Loved

Her! God! I'm Afraid--I _Love Her Yet_! Man! You Don't Know What An Ache

Such Love Is."

 

"Yes,  I Do," Said Courtland,  With A Sudden Light In His Face,  But

Tennelly Was Not Heeding Him.

 

"It Isn't Entirely That I've Lost Her; That I've Got To Give Up Hoping

That She'll Some Time Care And Settle Down To Knowing She Is Gone

Forever! It's The Way She Went! The--The--The _Disgrace_! The

Humiliation! The Awfulness Of The Way She Went! We've Never Had Anything

Like That In Our Family. And To Think My Baby Has Got To Grow Up To Know

That Shame! To Know That Her Mother Was A Disgraceful Woman! That I Gave

Her A Mother Like That!"

 

"Now,  Look Here,  Tennelly! You Didn't Know! You Thought She Would Be All

Right When You Were Married!"

 

"But I _Did Know_!" Wailed Tennelly. "I Knew In My Soul! I Think I Knew

When I First Saw Her,  And That Was Why I Worried About You When You Used

To Go And See Her. I Knew She Wasn't The Woman For You. But,  Blamed Fool

That I Was! I Thought I Was More Of A Man Of The World,  And Would Be

Able To Hold Her! No,  I Didn't,  Either,  For I Knew It Was Like Trying To

Enjoy A Sound Sleep In A Powder-Magazine With A Pocketful Of Matches,  To

Trust My Love To Her! But I Did It,  Anyway! I Dared Trouble! And My

Little Child Has Got To Suffer For It!"

 

Chapter 32 Pg 188

"Your Little Child Will Perhaps Be Better For It!"

 

"I Can't See It That Way!"

 

"You Don't Have To. If God Does,  Isn't That Enough?"

 

"I Don't Know! I Can't See God Now; It's Too Dark!" Tennelly Put His

Forehead Against The Window-Pane And Groaned.

 

"But You Have Your Little Child," Said Courtland,  Hesitating. "Isn't

That Something To Help?"

 

"She Breaks My Heart," Said The Father. "To Think Of Her Worse Than

Motherless! That Little Bit Of A Helpless Thing! And It's My Fault That

She's Here With A Future Of Shame!"

 

"Nothing Of The Sort! It'll Be Your Fault If She Has A Future Of Shame,

But It's Up To You. Her Mother's Shame Can't Hurt Her If You Bring Her

Up Right. It's Your Job,  And You Can Get A Lot Of Comfort Out Of It If

You Try!"

 

"I Don't See How," Dully.

 

"Listen,  Tennelly. Does She Look Like Her Mother?"

 

Tennelly's Sensitive Face Quivered With Pain. "Yes," He Said,  Huskily.

"I'll Send For Her And You Can See." He Rang A Bell. "I Brought Her And

The Nurse Up To Town With Me This Morning."

 

An Elderly,  Kind-Faced Woman Brought The Baby In,  Laid It In A Big Chair

Where They Could See It,  And Then Withdrew.

 

Courtland Drew Near,  Half Shyly,  And Looked In Startled Wonder. The Baby

Was Strikingly Like Gila,  With All Her Grace,  Delicate Features,  Wide

Innocent Eyes. The Sweep Of The Long Lashes On The Little White Cheeks,

That Were All Too White For Baby Flesh,  Seemed Old And Weird In The Tiny

Face. Yet When The Baby Looked Up And Recognized Its Father It Crowed

And Smiled,  And The Smile Was Wide And Frank And Lovable,  Like

Tennelly's. There Was Nothing Artificial About It. Courtland Drew A Long

Sigh Of Relief. For The Moment He Had Been Looking At The Baby As If It

Were Gila Grown Small Again; Now He Suddenly Realized It Was A New

Little Soul With A Life And A Spirit Of Its Own.

 

"She Will Be A Blessing To You,  Nelly," He Said,  Looking Up Hopefully.

 

"I Don't See It That Way!" Said The Hopeless Father,  Shaking His Head.

 

"Would You Rather Have Her--Taken Away--As Her Mother Suggested?" He

Hazarded,  Suddenly.

 

Tennelly Gave Him One Quick,  Startled Look. "God! No!" He Said,  And

Staggered Back Into A Chair. "Do You Think She Looks So Sick As That? I

Know She's Not Well. I Know She's Lost Flesh! But She's Been Neglected.

Gila Never Cared For Her And Wouldn't Be Bothered Looking After Things.

Chapter 32 Pg 189

She Was Angry Because The Baby Came At All. She Resented Motherhood

Because It Put A Limitation On Her Pleasures. My Poor Little Girl!"

 

Tennelly Dropped Upon His Knees Beside The Baby And Buried His Face In

Its Soft Little Neck.

 

The Baby Swept Its Dark Lashes Down With The Old Gila Trick,  And Looked

With A Puzzled Frown At The Dark Head So Close To Her Face. Then She Put

Up Her Little Hand And Moved It Over Her Father's Hair With An Awkward

Attempt At Comfort. The Great Big Being With His Head In Her Neck Was In

Trouble,  And She Was Vaguely Sympathetic.

 

A Wave Of Pity Swept Over Courtland. He Dropped Upon His Knees Beside

His Friend And Spoke Aloud:

 

"O Lord God,  Come Near And Let My Friend Feel Thy Presence Now In His

Terrible Distress. Somehow Speak Peace To His Soul And Help Him To Know

Thee,  For Thou Art The Only One That Can Help Him. Help Him To Tell Thee

All His Heart's Bitterness Now,  Alone With Thee And His Little Child,

And Find Relief."

 

Softly Courtland Arose And Slipped From The Room,  Leaving Them Alone

With The Presence.

 

       *       *       *       *       *

 

Gila Had Been Gone Two Months When The Day Was Finally Set For Bonnie's

Wedding.

 

There Had Been Consultations Long And Many Over What To Do About Telling

Tennelly,  For Even Bonnie Saw That The Event Could Not But Be Painful To

Him,  Coming As It Did On The Heels Of His Own Deep Trouble. And Tennelly

Had Long Been Courtland's Best Friend; At Least Until Pat Grew So Close

As To Share That Privilege With Him. It Was Finally Decided That

Courtland Should Tell Tennelly About The Approaching Wedding At His

First Opportunity.

 

Bonnie Had Long Ago Heard All About Gila,  Been Through The Bitter Throes

Of Jealousy,  And Come Out Clear And Trusting,  With The Whole Thing

Sanely And Happily Relegated To That Place