The Pzi-Apex by R.K. Galvez (thriller novels to read .TXT) 📕
- Author: R.K. Galvez
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...Quagga shrugged. Apparently it was the only socio-economic compromise that dominated this realm…It made him feel angry, even a little bit cheated. He was not going to cop out to that. He preferred to tune in and drop out…Astral Pzionix beckoned him like an intoxicating elixir…He was not any old crusty Ghost Dick; he liked to mix it up but this existence seemed a punishment worse than death…It was not bizarre to believe in Life before Death these days...But you never know with those cheating politicians; they really are all the same sometimes - particularly with their payrise loving ways - what a bunch of self-serving money grubbers...If every job had an expense account that massive...Quagga always enjoyed trying to live first before he died - which was always accidental - then he usually resurrected himself at a later date…Just as well he always ignored those best before dates...
What a bum!
…Tnuk Nam found me in the gutter, collecting butts and old coinage. I was merely impressed that he had located me. Geography was not this guru's strong point...Saying that, not many ghosts hang out in gutters, as you might know. I was briefly known as the Ghost of the Gutters. Tnuk Nam, being a bit testy, did not like the pitch. He had a different format in mind...
“QUAAAGGGAAA!” Tnuk Nam yelled.
“What do you want, death-boy?” I quipped.
“I summon thee...I SUMMON YOU NOW!” Tnuk Nam yelled into my face.
It was at this juncture in time that I materialized in the 21st century. For the first time, I smelt the 21st century. It smelled like shit- just like the entire 20th Century! Wow! What a goody-goody-gum-drops time trip! Pass me the sugar cubes, Monty!
That Zany Light
Murlik smiled. [Yes, you guessed it: Johnny Quagga's now inside a phoney magus; unfortunately, not available for parties until 3489AD...] He was the chief mage after all. A dragon master. A great dragon master baiter. He liked big snakes; he preferred stroking all long, scaly, appendages with a life of their own…Johnny's snake remained long and cold…These reptiles would be, in a more modern parlance, known as "dragons"; but they were more like gigantic winged snakes…
…Murlik had mastered his seed; he could let it go off without even thinking about it these days…Those slippery reptiles had a good idea how to suck up to him; though he also knew how to rub them up the wrong way...There was nothing like unleashing a hot torrent of venomous spray over each other…Good old Murlik; sometimes he was a little deluded…He had learnt this trick off his apprentice, Les ‘Warty’ Barloy…He liked to lick the snakes a lot…Murlik thought Les was a bit of a suck up...
…Murlik was annoyed these days; he was unfairly compared to Merlin – you might have heard of his fictionalized exploits, despite the fact that Merlin was just another lesser mage; the mighty N’Longa had far more power, of course…And, occasionally, Murlik had to see Professor Norkgrub for recreational therapies. He had a feeling Merlin might be a codename, possibly even one for the C.O.G…He had not even seen Merlin perform for a long time; he was definitely one of the old school…He wanted to witness Warlock in action again, too…That would be a test for both of their aural collections…Murlik also loved Nightmares on Wax...
…Professor Norkgrub’s suggested therapies primarily consisted of consuming various chemicals…Blotter lungs?...A tad acidic, perhaps?…Many of them were synthesized somewhere by Professor Norkgrub, although some herbal remedies were deemed “organic”…LSD Vapour-Rub will change the world!...
…After over-indulging on the heinous vapour rub, Murlik got the bus to see Professor Norkgrub at his office in Tufnell Park…As he got off the bus, he noticed an apparition…It was his friend, Shi T…She was a witch but had perished in the dimensional shift apocalypse on Treqloco in 2081…
…Johnny Quagga smiled his ghostly smile... He liked being in Murlik the most. His crystalline epaulettes made him look regal. The anarcho-dust-mite robber barons had decided to attack the pzionik realm. Johnny knew he had to fight. The Professor was still experimenting at the Tufnell Park branch…What luck, thought Johnny. He lifted his spectral Time Laz-a-Whip and hacked off several dust-mite-capitalist heads. They fell to the ground, mumbling share prices, leaking noxious gases and vile secretions; but more of the mutated deformities kept coming at him…Johnny wondered how such rapid demhumanization had occured; under his breath, he cursed the elements and his poor grasp of necromancy...He had to admit his inability, or he would not be true to himself...
Johnny vainly shouted: “Murlik, you dithering fool! MURRRRLIKKK!”
...The hopeless mage was, in fact, back on the bus after getting a bit too tipsy at the Tufnell Park offices...He had over-indulged with his own ergot experimentations alongside the zoophyte Professor. Just my luck, thought Johnny Quagga...As he retreated - via 1904 then via 2070 - he found Tnuk Nam quivering in the corner of the star-craft, avoiding the hurly-burly of dimensional fag work.
Tnuk Nam was talking to his shrivelled member, apparently called Giles Smiler...He cannot do that during the astral warp...Tnuk Nam was about to hide into his walnut-sized testicles, possibly to hibernate...He was too far gone...Johnny Quagga did not trust Shi T either, despite exploring her intimately...Witch's Song could be heard playing...
Johnny smirked and said to himself, " I am a pussy; it looks like it's back to ghosting for me!"
God'slight
...Shi T finished reading 'Vortex' SF magazine, seductively stroking the glossy pages. She was feeling queasy, and a little moist...She then picked up the Rockmoon Scroll Johnny had told her not to read from...This was the first part of the ritual...The Canticles would always be with her...She began to read the exotic lysergic-blood text...
...It read thus:
...“READ ON OR DIE TONIGHT AT 10:35 PM 9[nine] years ago a person named Jerry [Not the same character from W.S. Burroughs’ magnum opus, for copyright reasons…He did keep his head on and apparently he had a "close" friend called Benji; Benji and Jerry’s new ‘Read On or Die’ flavour coming out soon…]...Poor Jerry got dared to sleep in a house that was believed[to be] haunted....
...The next day his friends- some "friends", eh? - waited for him outside the house [though they all knew he had a live webcam stream...Click here for instant access…Pay-Per-View Available...].....They had to go inside […Ooh-err-missus!...] and search for him. They went through every room ex[c]ept the attic...He wasn't supposed to sleep[or ‘wank’/’jerk off’/’fap’] there. He was supposed to sleep in the living room[with the hidden cameras…]…They [all] went to the attic[dirty posh games]…They saw Jerry's corpse and they just left because they were scared [freshly ejaculated semen-shell corpses are rare…Must have had strong wrists and big hands…Not little hands, Really Big Ones...] As in REALLY SCARED[Ooh, scary capitals!...]…But that night they ALL[all] died because of their friend...He[Jerry] killed them for making him sleep in that house [Pervy-hidden-camera-trick-failure clause…Might be worth a few million in damages though...]...
…If you don't send this to 11[eleven] comments you will die tonight by Jerry[hide the over-priced hipster ice-cream!]...Example 1[one]: A man named Stewart read this and didn't believe it. [Backstory: Stewart Kristens…He was in a hypnogogic food coma due to his excessive indulgences, mainly large quantities of ice-cream; he had a serious addiction but his problem was laughed at, of course…Prader-Willi cannot be that funny, can it?...He then started making ice-cream from creamy unpasteurized ejaculate…He was now addicted to semen-ice-creams and would gobble up all kinds of smeggy delights to satisfy his creamy lustings...]...He[Stewart Kristens] shut off his computer and went through his dull day. [Cue: Time passed...Yes, he had drug-resistant gonorrhoea in his throat - how did you know?...] That night while he was in bed [post-wet dream; pre-morning fapping…No, eating cereal did not stop him habitually masturbating in the mornings…]; he heard something outside of his door. He[Stewart Kristens] got up to look. And now he's dead!
Example 2[two]: a girl named Haley [Backstory: Haley Horlixx, super-whore to the rich and famous, and currently a mainstream actress with a blockbuster film deal with Disney and TV series for Netflix; she will always be famed for a vaginal cavity large enough for ten tuberous "real' penises[larger than 3[three] inches when flaccid]; and a cauliflower anus big enough to hold another ten[10] perfectly enlarged Porn Star penises[plus-sized penises 8-10[eight-ten] inches]…What an exquisite mouth, too…Gobble-gobble-slurp…]; she read this in the morning and she got scared but she didn't send it![Oh-uh…You know what happens next, right?...]…
...She[Haley Horlixx] wanted to [k]now if it was true. She went to [a Specialized Pornographic Art] school (She was only 21 years old...She had syphilis - how did you guess?...) and that night she died...
If you don't post this on 11[yes, ELEVEN!...] comments, Jerry will 'visit' you [Ooooh-ahh, grease up your nether regions! By Jove, what a shafting! What-what-what!…] his[he] isn't fake! Apperently [Apparently] if you copy and past[e] this to ten comments in the next ten[10] minuets[minutes] you will have the best day of your life tomorrow. You will either get kissed or asked out, if you brake[break] this chain you will see a little dead girl[a lesser demon - sadly not Linda Blair…] in your room tonight. In the next 53[fifty-three] minuets[minutes] someone will say I love you or I'm sorry”...
...Shi T smirked, feeling even more aroused, as she put the scroll down...She was all wet and clammy...Shi T looked at Johnny Quagga huddled up in the duvet pretending to be a zombie sausage roll…Maybe he really thought he was an undead sausage roll?...
...Shi T said, "How bizarre that I got kissed and asked out, then murdered all on the same day!…I'm still waiting for an apology though...How do you figure that cosmic curiosity out, Johnny?...Luckily for me, I was already dead!"
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