Mother's Remedies by Thomas Jefferson Ritter (positive books to read txt) 📕

AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 787]

A bridal party always stand with their backs to the audience, the clergyman facing it.

Remember—

That men's evening clothes are not worn before six o'clock.

That women wear their hats at afternoon functions, teas, luncheons, bridge parties, etc., and remove them at evening affairs.

That in society, personal affairs, servants, dress, household difficulties, "symptoms," illnesses and bereavements, are not to be made a subject of conversation.

It is not good form to talk of the cost of articles or mention money affairs in company.

The social aspirant should cultivate the art of saying polite nothings acceptably. Small talk is the small change of social life.

One should be prompt at dinner, a card-party or a musicale.

At a dancing-party the hostess does not dance, as a rule, during the first part of the evening. She receives her guests and sees that the women are provided with partners.

A man who dances should pay his hostess the courtesy of inviting her to dance. He should certainly dance with her daughter.

Engaged couples should be careful to avoid demonstrations of affection or preoccupation in each other while in company.

Remember—

That the salt-shaker is out of favor; the open salt cellar and the salt-spoon are much preferred.

Never cut bread; break it with the fingers. Never butter a large piece, or spread it in the palm of your hand.

The finger-bowl will be brought on a plate with a doily under it.

Lift both from the plate to the table. The plate is then ready for the fruit course.

Black coffee—cafe noir—is usually served without cream. Cut loaf sugar is passed with it.

If a visitor for one meal only, the napkin is not folded at the conclusion of a meal. If staying a day or two follow the practice of the hostess.

Creme de menthe is served before the coffee, in small liquor glasses.

Do not break bread or crackers into the soup nor tip the plate to obtain the last of it.

Do not play with crumbs, or finger knife or spoon.

Never touch a knife to fish or salad.

[788 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]

Remember—

Do not move glass, spoon, etc., when the maid brushes the crumbs from the cloth.

Knife and fork are laid upon the plate, tines of the latter upward, when the plate is passed for a second helping. This "second help" is permitted only at family or informal dinners.

A host must not urge food upon a guest after it has once been declined.

Lift the cup or glass to the lips, instead of bending toward it. Do not throw the head back and raise the cup to get the last of its contents.

Remember—

To prepare a list of the members of the family who will go to the cemetery at a funeral, for the undertaker's guidance, arranging them in the order of the relationship.

Flowers should be sent early in the morning of the day of interment, or on the previous afternoon. Acknowledgment by note or verbally is expected.

A letter expressive of sympathy in a friend's bereavement should be sent immediately upon learning of a death.

During an illness, make inquiries at the door, leaving a card with "To inquire" written upon it. This apprises a friend of your interest in her troubles, yet makes no claim upon her time.

Men wear mourning bands on their hats, not on the coat sleeve. Borders on mourning stationery and cards should be narrow.

Invitations to receptions, weddings, and general entertainments, excepting dancing parties, balls and cotillions, are sent to people in mourning. A response on black bordered stationery sufficiently indicates the reason for non-acceptance.

Remember—

That the typewriter does not figure in social correspondence.

A neat, well written letter or note is a credit to the writer, and a compliment to her correspondent.

Avoid "fancy" or bizarre stationery. A good quality of white or cream paper, in several sizes, is indicative of refined taste.

The forms of address, under the head of "Letter forms" may be profitably studied.

Abbreviations are incorrect. Write out the name of the state on your envelope; otherwise it may go astray.

[MANNERS AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS 789]

To keep a dictionary on one's desk is a wise precaution unless one is sure of herself in regard to spelling.

Answer all notes of invitation promptly, and unconditionally; and all friendly letters within a reasonable time.

If you never say an unkind or hateful thing in a letter, you will never fear you may be some day condemned by your written evidence.

Don't keep old letters; it is unwise.

Avoid discussions on any subject on which people feel strongly, like politics and religion. Do not hold an argument in society.

Remember that good manners are made up of petty sacrifices, gracefully made.

A kind "no" is often more agreeable than a rough "yes." An assent, given grudgingly, is always ungracious.

Take note of this quotation: "Life is like a mirror. It reflects the face you bring to it. Look out lovingly upon the world and the world will look lovingly in upon you."

[790 MOTHERS' REMEDIES] BEAUTY AND THE TOILET

INCLUDING MANICURING, CARE OF THE COMPLEXION,
TEETH, EYES, FEET, Etc.

"The one thing that woman prizes most is her beauty. Though she have none, she yet persuadeth herself that she possesses some charm upon which men's eyes rest admiringly."—Johnson.

"There is no wound a woman will not more willingly forget than a blow to her vanity."

Although woman's chief desire is to be beautiful, it is a historical fact that nearly every woman whose beauty has been renowned has either led an unhappy life or met a tragic fate. Strangely, too, the most famous attachments of which we have record have been inspired by women who were not only not beautiful, but who had some noticeable defect. So to be attractive, and to charm, it is not necessary to be beautiful. Beauty gives a woman a start in the race; her other qualities must enable her to keep her advantage.

THE FACE-HEALTH AS AN AID TO BEAUTY.

The first essential to good looks is good health. The clear complexion, the bright eyes, the lustrous hair that are such helps are born of good health rather than of creams and hair tonics. Health depends a good deal on wholesome diet and out-door exercise, which make pure blood. Pure air is invaluable. Country girls often have exquisite complexions because of the pure air they breathe—unless they eat too much heavy, greasy food.

Study hygiene, then, instead of relying upon "Bloom of Youth" and "Cream of Roses" as aids to a good complexion. Such things deceive no one, and by use ruin the skin, wrinkling and withering it. It is a good thing to drink plenty of water. A glass on retiring, another on rising, and a third an hour before the noon meal is little enough. Keep the stomach and bowels in good order.

BLACKHEADS.—The most frequent inquiry in the "beauty pages" of the papers is what to do for blackheads. In the first place, don't allow yourself to get them. Keep your face clean. A blackhead is simply a pore that is filled with oil and dirt. Sometimes they are as large as the head of a pin. When taken out they leave an enlargement known as a coarse pore. Do not steam the face to remove them. Wash the face well with soap and hot water; wring cloths out of hot water and hold to the face then massage with cold cream. Several treatments will soften them so they may be pinched out between the thumbs. Never attempt this treatment before going out; do it at night, before retiring.

Blackheads are a reflection upon one's personal cleanliness, therefore bathe the whole body often.

[BEAUTY AND THE TOILET 791]

PIMPLES.—Pimples are due to an impure condition of the blood, for which sulphur is a good remedy, taken internally and applied externally. One dram each of camphor and flowers of sulphur in four ounces of rose-water is a good lotion for external use. Do not pick or squeeze pimples, unless pus has formed in them. Nothing is more disgusting than a face broken out in pus-filled pimples. See a physician if thus afflicted.

FRECKLES.—These have been poetically called "the kisses of the sun," but no girl cares for evidences of that sort of affection. Prevention is easier than cure. Simple home remedies are lemon juice and glycerin, sour buttermilk, and elderflower soap used in bathing.

A well-known application is six grains of bichloride of mercury in one ounce each of glycerin and alcohol, and a few drops, say ten or twelve, of oil of lavender. The trouble is that after using these remedies the skin is delicate and freckles more easily.

The fad for going bareheaded has ruined many a girl's complexion.

SUNBURN.—Avoid it when possible. If going on the water, apply magnesia to the face rather thickly. If sunburned, rub the skin with cold cream, leaving it on as long as you can before using water on it. A wash that is good for tan and sunburn requires half an ounce of borax and an ounce of lemon juice in a pint of rose water.

CHAPPED HANDS AND FACE.—Many cases of "chaps" may be avoided by the simple precaution of wiping the face and hands perfectly dry. If the skin chaps easily keep at hand a bottle of glycerin and lemon juice mixed in about equal proportions, and after wiping rub a little on the hands. Before going out in the cold, rub a little cold cream or oil of sweet almonds over the face; leave it on a few minutes, rub off lightly with a dry towel and dust with rice powder. Camphor ice is good for chapped lips.

A PURE FACE CREAM.—Set a bowl in a basin of hot water over the fire. In it put a quarter of an ounce of white wax and two and a half ounces of spermaceti, and the same quantity of oil of sweet almonds. When melted and hot, add a pinch of borax and an ounce and a half of rose-water. Beat these ingredients with a silver fork, briskly, till the cream is cold. Warm the jar before filling it and keep in a cool place.

ANOTHER GOOD CREAM.—One ounce each of white wax and spermaceti; two ounces each of lanolin and cocoanut oil and four ounces of sweet almond oil. Melt in a double-boiler or a bowl set in hot water, and stir in two ounces of orange flower water and thirty drops of tincture of benzoin. Stir briskly till cold, and of the consistency of a thick paste. This is to be used at night, after thoroughly washing the face. It is a good cleansing cream also.

[792 MOTHERS' REMEDIES]

WRINKLES.—It is a great deal easier to prevent wrinkles than it is to get rid of them after one has acquired them. A little study of women's faces will show how wrinkles, that no amount of massage will obliterate, are being made. They make perpendicular wrinkles between the eyes by drawing the brows together when sewing or reading, sometimes through habit and sometimes because of insufficient light. Some wrinkles are born of in-temper, of fretfulness, or sorrow. As the skin loses its elasticity, through age or ill-health, wrinkles come more and more easily. The best remedy for wrinkles is a light heart and a contented mind. Assist these with good, wholesome food that makes pure blood to feed the body, and render external aid through gentle massage and some good face cream and you have done the best you can. It is a good plan to some day take your hand-mirror with you as you go about your daily duties and watch the process of wrinkle-making. Say you are sewing and note the glass. Without changing your expression, take a look at yourself. The chance is it will be a revelation. You will realize why wrinkles come.

MASSAGE.—Unless properly done, massage may do more harm than good. If one can afford a few treatments by a scientific masseur and study her methods, it is a great help. The thing is not to rub in more than you rub out, by improper manipulation. Rub the face up, not down. This is because of the tendency of the muscles to sag.

Rub across, not with, the lines. Rub the "parentheses" around the month up and out, and give a rotary motion to the rubs given