Perfect on Paper by Gillian Harvey (top 20 books to read txt) 📕

‘This would only happen to you, wouldn’t it? How do you get yourself into these situations?’

‘These situations?’

‘Oh, you know. When we were kids. You were always the one who ended up pushing yourself forward, volunteering for things. Remember when you decided to be mascot for the school football team? Dressing up as that giant bird?’

Yes. She’d forgotten about that.

‘And that time when you auditioned for a background role in the school play and ended up getting one of the main parts.’

It was true, she’d only joined to fit in with her friends.

Perhaps she had form after all. Where had that version of herself gone in the intervening years, she wondered – the part of her who was unpredictable, spontaneous and even occasionally fun?

‘Anyway,’ Clare continued, changing the subject a bit, ‘I’m just not sure what I should do!’

‘What you should do?’

‘Yeah, do I go through with it – they’re talking about a possible TV appearance if we’re chosen. It could get really embarrassing.’

‘Possibly …’

‘And, can you imagine? I’m not sure it would go down very well at work, if I make myself a laughing stock.’

‘But would you be one? Lots of people have hidden talents. Yours is, well, unexpected. But pretty cool. And they’d probably do a back-story on you. You know, about your poems and how it all came about. I don’t think anyone would be laughing.’

‘Maybe. But is it worth the risk? I just don’t know.’

‘God, you’re full of surprises,’ Steph said, shaking her head. ‘I thought you were going to ask me something about the kids, or Toby, or – you know – something normal.’

‘It’s a ridiculous problem to have,’ Clare agreed. ‘But it is a problem. I don’t feel like I can back out. But what if I’m making a huge mistake?’

‘What was the rap about, anyway?’

‘The rap?’

‘Yeah, you and your mates hitting the clubs? Your take on the youf culture of today? The fact that you like big butts?’

Clare laughed. ‘No, it was about … well, how I feel. You know, being a bit “meh” – invisible. Like we spoke about the other day.’

‘A rap about being middle aged?!’

‘I wish people would stop describing me as middle aged!’

‘Sorry. Anyway, what does Toby think?’

‘Toby? He doesn’t know anything about it.’

‘You haven’t told him?’ Steph raised a surprised eyebrow.

‘Well, I sort of tried, but he wasn’t really listening,’ Clare said, shrugging her shoulders.

Steph was silent for a minute, stirring her coffee and absent-mindedly adding another sugar to the already oversweet brew. ‘But surely you should tell him now?’

Clare shrugged. ‘I might,’ she said. ‘But I just feel a bit embarrassed about it all. I don’t know why. And Toby’s so busy …’

Steph nodded. ‘Still, he’d want to know,’ she said.

Clare wasn’t so sure. ‘I suppose … But you know, Toby aside. Do you think I should do it?’

‘Seriously, you reckon these boys deserve a chance?’

‘Yep.’

‘And they think – you can do it in some sort of disguise, right?’

‘I hope so.’

‘Then I think,’ Steph said, looking directly at her with her intense, blue eyes. ‘I think you’re kind of stuck with it, aren’t you?’

‘That’s what I thought.’

Toby walked into the kitchen at that point, and they fell into a sudden silence. ‘Oops,’ he said, grinning at them from under his uncharacteristically messy fringe. ‘Hope I haven’t interrupted anything.’

‘No, don’t worry.’

‘Talking about me, by any chance?’ he grinned, half-serious.

‘Nah,’ Clare said, winking at Steph. ‘We’re just talking about whether I should enter a talent show with a rap about what it’s like to be a neglected wife.’

Toby snorted. ‘You two, when you get together,’ he said, fondly. ‘Completely and utterly mad.’

‘How’s life in the TV fast lane, anyway?’ Steph asked. ‘I hear you’re quite the dinner party hit?’

Toby blushed. ‘I wouldn’t say that.’

‘Don’t worry, Toby, I haven’t told her everything about the other night,’ Clare said.

‘Thank god for that.’

‘Although I’d love it if you could show me your limbo moves later!’ Steph quipped.

Toby blushed and Clare felt suddenly sorry for him. ‘Honestly, don’t worry,’ she said. ‘It wasn’t that bad.’

He leaned down and kissed her cheek, for the first time in ages. ‘Thanks, love.’ Then, straightened. ‘Well, I’ll leave you ladies to it,’ he said. ‘See you soon, Steph. Bye little nephew!’ he added, tickling Wilbur under the chin.

Wilbur laughed, a river of drool running stickily from his mouth, as he bounced enthusiastically.

‘Poor Toby,’ Clare said. ‘I’ve been a bit hard on him. He’s really stressed with the new job.’

‘Actually he looks a bit … well, thin – “peaky”, as mum used to say,’ Steph said, nodding.

Does he? ‘I hadn’t noticed,’ Clare said. ‘I mean, I know he’s stressed, but … I think he’s OK.’

‘Don’t worry,’ Steph replied with a grin. ‘You’re a rap star now – you can’t get too hung up worrying about the little people.’

‘Ha! Yes. Check me out!’

‘So, let’s see this rap,’ Steph said, genuinely interested.

‘Really? What about you? You’ve hardly told me anything about what you’ve been up to recently.’

‘You forget, I spend all my time with a six-month-old. I have to live vicariously through your life, or I wouldn’t be living at all.’ There was a catch in Steph’s voice as she said it.

‘You all right Steph?’

‘Yeah, never better.’

Clare reached over the table and squeezed her sister’s hand. ‘OK, if you’re sure.’

‘Course I am. Come on, let’s see you perform. I need cheering up!’

Chapter Seventeen

‘Seat belt,’ said ‘Claudia’s’ automated voice, rather impatiently, when Clare got in the car on Monday morning. ‘Seat belt, seat belt, seat belt.’

‘OK, OK, Claudia!’ she snapped, clicking the belt into place. ‘Stop nagging.’

Great, now she was talking to the car.

‘Seat belt engaged,’ Claudia replied. ‘Seat belt engaged, seat belt engaged.’ Clare didn’t remember this happening before. Had Claudia gone into some sort of hyper-vigilance mode?

‘Thank you,’ she said, ‘you can shut up now.’

‘Searching for shut up online,’ the car replied.

‘No, no. Don’t search for it,’ she said. ‘Um. Stop search.’

Claudia silenced, Clare began to drive, admiring the smooth steering and easy acceleration. Perhaps the car hadn’t been