Life and Death of Mr. Badman by John Bunyan (most life changing books TXT) 📕

not make Marriages with them; Thy daughter thou shalt not give unto his son, nor his daughter shalt thou take unto thy son, Deut. 7. 4, 5. {80a} 2. In the New Testament it is forbidden. Be ye not unequally yoaked together with unbelievers; Let them marry to whom they will, only in the Lord. {80b}

Here now is a prohibition, {80c} plainly forbidding the Believer to marry with the Unbeliever, therefore they should not do it. Again, these unwarrantable Marriages, are, as I may so say, condemned by irrational creatures, who will not couple but with their own sort: Will the Sheep couple with a Dog, the Partridge with a Crow, or the Feasant with an Owl? No, they will strictly tye up themselves to those of their own sort only: Yea, it sets all the world a wondring, when they see or hear the contrary. Man only is most subject to wink at, and allow of these unlawful mixtures of men and women; Because man only is a sinful Beast, a sinful Bird, therefore he, above all, will take upon him by rebellious actions to answer, or rather to oppose and violate the Law of his God and Creator; nor shall these, or other Interogatories, [What fellowship? what concord? what agreement? what communion can there be in such Marriages?] be counted of weight, or thought worth the answering by him.

But further. The dangers {80d} that such do commonly run themselves into, should be to others a disswasive argument to stop them from doing the like: for besides the distresses of Mr. Badmans wife, many that have had very hopefull beginnings for heaven, have by vertue of the mischiefs that have attended these unlawfull marriages, miserably and fearfully miscarried. Soon after such marriages, Conviction (the first step toward heaven) hath ceased; Prayer (the next step toward Heaven) hath ceased; Hungrings and thirstings after salvation (another step towards the Kingdom of Heaven) have ceased. In a word, such marriages have estranged them from the Word, from their godly and faithful Friends, and have brought them again into carnal company, among carnal Friends, and also into carnal Delights, where, and with whom they have in conclusion both sinfully abode, and miserably perished.

And this is one reason why God hath forbidden this kind of unequal marriages. For they, saith he, meaning the ungodly, will turn away thy son from following me, that they may serve other Gods, so will the anger of the Lord be kindled against you, and destroy you suddenly. {81a} Now mark, there were some in Israel, that would, notwithstanding this prohibition, venture to marry to the Heathens and Unbelievers: But what followed? They served their Idols, they sacrificed their Sons and their Daughters unto Devils. Thus were they defiled with their own works, and went a whoring with their own Inventions. Therefore was the wrath of the Lord kindled against his people, insomuch that he abhorred his own Inheritance. {81b}

Atten. But let’s return again to Mr. Badman; had he any Children by his wife?

Wise. Yes, seven.

Atten. I doubt they were but badly brought up.

Wise. One of them loved its Mother dearly, and would constantly harken to her voice. Now that Child {81c} she had the opportunity to instruct in the Principles of Christian Religion, and it became a very gracious child. But that child Mr. Badman could not abide, he would seldom afford it a pleasant word, but would scowl and frown upon it, speak churlishly and doggedly to it, and though as to Nature it was the most feeble of the seven, yet it oftenest felt the weight of its Fathers fingers. Three of his Children did directly follow his steps, and began to be as vile as (in his youth) he was himself. The other that remained became a kind of mungrel Professors, not so bad as their Father, nor so good as their Mother, but were betwixt them both. They had their Mothers Notions, and their Fathers Actions, and were much like those that you read of in the Book of Nehemiah; These children spake half in the speech of Ashdod, and could not speak in the Jews Language, but according to the language of each people. {81d}

Atten. What you say in this matter, is observable, and if I take not my mark amiss, it often happeneth after this manner where such unlawful Marriages are contracted.

Wise. It sometimes doth so, and the reason, with respect to their Parents, is this: Where the one of the Parents is godly, and the other ungodly and vile, (though they can agree in begetting of Children, yet) they strive for their Children when they are born. {82a} The godly Parent strives for the child, and by Prayers, Counsel and good Examples, labours to make it holy in body and soul, and so fit for the Kingdom of Heaven; but the ungodly would have it like himself, wicked and base and sinful; and so they both give instructions accordingly: instructions did I say? yea, and Examples too, according to their minds. Thus the godly, as Hannah, is presenting her Samuel unto the Lord: but the ungodly, like them that went before them, are for offering their Children to Moloch, to an Idol, to sin, to the Devil, and to Hell. Thus one harkeneth to the Law of their Mother, and is preserved from destruction, but as for the other, as their Fathers did, so do they. Thus did Mr. Badman and his wife part some of their Children betwixt them; but as for the other three that were as ‘twere Mungrels, betwixt both, they were like unto those that you read of in Kings, They feared the Lord, but served their own Idols. {82b} They had, as I sail, their Mothers Notions, and I will adde, Profession too, but their Fathers Lusts, and something of his Life. Now their Father did not like them, because they had their Mothers tongue; and the Mother did not like them because they had still their Fathers heart and life; nor were they indeed fit company for good or bad. The Good would not trust them because they were bad, the Bad would not trust them because they were good, viz. The good would not trust them because they were bad in their Lives, and the bad would not trust them because they were good in their Words: So they were forced with Esau to joyn in affinity with Ishmael; to wit, to look out a people that were Hypocrites like themselves, and with them they matcht, and lived and died.

Atten. Poor woman, she could not but have much perplexity.

Wise. Yea, and poor Children, that ever they were sent into the world as the fruit of the loyns, and under the government of such a father as Mr. Badman.

Atten. You say right, for such children, lye, almost under all manner of disadvantages: but we must say nothing, because this also is the sovereign Will of God.

Wise. We may not by any means object against God: yet we may talk of the advantages, and disadvantages that Children have by having for their Parents such as are either Godly, or the contrary.

Atten. You say right, we may so, and pray now, since we are about it, speak something in brief unto it, that is, unto this; What advantage those Children have above others, that have for their Parents such as indeed are Godly.

Wise. So I will, only I must first premise these two or three things. {83a}

1. They have not the advantage of Election for their fathers sakes.

2. They are born, as others, the children of wrath, though they come of Godly Parents.

3. Grace comes not unto them as an Inheritance, because they have Godly Parents. These things premised I shall now proceed.

1. The children of Godly Parents are the children of many Prayers: they are prayed for before, and Prayed for after they are born, and the Prayer of a godly Father and godly Mother doth much.

2. They have the advantage of what restraint is possible, from what evils their Parents see them inclinable to, and that is a second mercy.

3. They have the advantage of Godly instruction, and of being told which be, and which be not the right ways of the Lord.

4. They have also those ways commended unto them, and spoken well of in their hearing, that are good.

5. Such are also, what may be, kept out of evil company, from evil Books, and from being taught the way of Swearing, Lying, and the like, as Sabbath-breaking, and mocking at good men, and good things, and this is a very great mercy.

6. They have also the benefit of a godly life set before them doctrinally by their Parents, and that doctrine backt with a godly and holy example: and all these are very great advantages.

Now all these advantages, the children of ungodly Parents want; {84a} and so are more in danger of being carried away with the error of the wicked. For ungodly Parents neither Pray for their Children, nor do, nor can they heartily instruct them; they do not after a godly manner restrain them from evil, nor do they keep them from evil company. They are not grieved at, nor yet do they forewarn their children to beware of such evil actions that are abomination to God, and to all good men. They let their children break the Sabbath, swear, lye, be wicked and vain. They commend not to their children an holy life, nor set a good example before their eyes. No, they do in all things contrary: Estranging of their children what they can, from the love of God and all good men, so soon as they are born. Therefore it is a very great Judgment of God upon children to be the Offspring of base and ungodly men. {84b}

Atten. Well, but before we leave Mr. Badmans wife and children, I have a mind, if you please, to enquire a little more after one thing, the which I am sure you can satisfie me in.

Wise. What is that?

Atten. You said a while ago, that this Mr. Badman would not suffer his wife to go out to hear such godly Ministers as she liked, but said if she did, she had as good never come home any more. Did he often carry it thus to her?

Wise. He did say so, he did often say so. This I told you then, and had also then told you more, but that other things put me out.

Atten. Well said, pray therefore now go on.

Wise. So I will. Upon a time, she was on a Lords day for going to hear a Sermon, and Mr. Badman was unwilling {84c} she should: but she at that time, as it seems, did put on more courage than she was wont; and therefore, after she had spent upon him, a great many fair words and entreaties, if perhaps she might have prevailed by them, but all to no purpose at all: At last she said she would go, and rendred this reason for it; I have an Husband, but also a God; my God has commanded me, and that upon pain of damnation, to be a continual Worshipper of him, and that in the way of his own Appointments: I have an Husband, but also a Soul, and my Soul ought to be more unto me, than all the world besides. This soul of mine I will look after, care for, and (if I can) provide it an Heaven for its habitation. You are commanded to love me, as you love your own body, and so do I love you; {85a} but I tell you true, I preferr my Soul before all the world, and its Salvation I will seek.

At this, first, {85b} he