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fuck off. But because I don’t want them saying my dad didn’t raise me well I tell them to come in. I’m so annoyed I can’t even fake a smile.

“You look beautiful” my mom tells me. I just ignore her and I sit with my dad on our single sofa while they occupy the 3 and 2 seater sofas. They greet us and they don’t talk so my dad and I also stare at them.

“We decided to come back because we couldn’t talk the last time”. This woman is like the spokesperson or something. My mom is the one who left us, so she can do the talking.

“Zekhethelo is here, you can talk to her. Nonhle has nothing to say to me. She can talk to her daughter” my dad tells them. I wait for Nonhle to say something, instead of talking she starts crying. My God. She starts screaming saying some things I cannot hear. I just sit and wait for her to stop all the drama so they talk and leave. My dad excuses himself and he goes to the kitchen and I hear a lot clattering. He’s cooking. I wait for Nonhle to stop crying and tell me what she wants from me. After some time she stops. Her mom asks me to bring some water for her but I just ignore her, I’m just not in the mood for their stupid drama.

“Zekhethelo I made a mistake…” hehehe a mistake? Leaving a child behind is a mistake? Cheating on your husband with his best friend is a mistake? If she calls all of that a mistake. Then what do we call spilling milk? I still don’t say anything. She continues talking and crying.

“Can I say something?” I finally talk and judging from what I can hear from the kitchen my dad has stopped chopping whatever. I wonder what he’s thinking.

“I don’t know why you left with Joe. What made you leave me behind. But I forgave you a long time ago. You were gone for 20 years and I learnt to live without you. I needed you then but I don’t you need now. You can go back to wherever you went to 20 years ago. I’m cool” Nonhle continues crying. This woman is going to annoy me. We sit in silence.

After some time my dad walks in with food and he serves me first with a huge smile on his face. My dad really thought I’d choose Nonhle over him? What’s with this nonsense that a girl needs her mother most and a boy needs his father most? How many woman raise their kids alone and visa verse? There were times when I needed my mom and she wasn’t here my aunts, grandma and Momo our neighbour were here for me and my dad. We eat in silence. My dad is a great cook and he cooked my favourite chicken stew and pap.

“We came here because we wanted to apologise on behalf of your mother. She was wrong to leave you like that. We were also wrong to also disappear but we were ashamed of what she did” the old woman tells me.

“I understand honestly I do. I forgave my mom a long time ago. And I also forgive you but I don’t want a relationship with any of you” I tell them honestly.

“Muzi, please talk to her” my mom begs my dad.

“I have nothing to say” my dad tells her and she starts crying again.

Doesn’t she stop? I decide to take the plates to the kitchen to wash them. They are still sitting at the lounge when I finish washing the dishes. My dad is sitting on the sofa looking all relaxed. I honestly can’t believe my dad thought I’ll be out the door when my mommy dearest decides to grace us with her presence. I look at the time it’s 2pm we need to go to the workshop. I tell them my dad and I need to be somewhere and they tell us that they’ll wait. Even when I tell them we’ll be back late they insist. I tell my dad that he can stay behind but he doesn’t want to. If these cars weren’t in the garage the whole weekend then I’d go there tomorrow but I can’t. So we leave them.

Today I had wealthy customers, I’m under my favourite car Audi Q5 changing the tyre when I see people walking in.

“You’re a mechanic?” comes the most annoying voice in the world. She’s asking the obvious clearly she’s not waiting for an answer.

“Baba what time is it?” I ask my dad.

“It’s 8pm” he replies.

“I thought you guys left.”

“I couldn’t believe it when Momo told me that you’re a car mechanic” she tells me still shocked. Momo is our neighbour she’s been a good one helping my dad where she could with me. She’s the one who knew that my mom was having an affair with my dad’s best friend. She’s a teacher, she helped me with assignments and homework and studying. At some point I asked my dad to marry her. I can’t remember what he said.

“Aren’t you leaving?” I ask her. She doesn’t say anything. I continue working the owner of this car will be here first thing tomorrow morning.

“We’re done for the day” I tell my dad as soon as I’m done changing the tyre.

We head home, they follow us back. I turn to look for answers from my dad and I can see that he is as confused as I am. When we get home they tell us that they’ll sleep at Momo’s place. We decide to watch Uzalo my dad’s favourite soapie. He looks happy, I’m glad, I hate it when he looks grumpy and tired I get worried. At 9pm we both head to our bedrooms. I take a quick shower and I head to bed, I’m very tired but I can’t sleep. I have so much on my mind. I keep wondering why my mom cheated, why she left and why she’s only coming back now. I forgave her a long time ago as soon as I realised she’s not coming back.

                        *******

“Zekhethelo, can we talk?” my dad comes into my room. It’s 5 in the morning and judging by the way he looks, he didn’t sleep. I sit up and nod.

“Don’t look so worried” he tells me faking a smile. How could I not? But I pretend as if I didn’t see him faking a smile.

“It’s about your mom. I think you should build a relationship with her” he tells me and goes mute. I think he’s waiting for me to say something but I have nothing to say right now. I kind of feel betrayed. What has the woman done to my dad, why the sudden change of heart? Wasn’t he happy I chose him? I’m confused, but I don’t say anything to him. I talk a lot I always have something to say but right I choose to say nothing.

“Can you do that?” he asks me placing his hand on top of mine. I shake my head.

“I know I’ve been selfish, for the past 20 years I dreamt of her coming back and you not wanting anything to do with her. But now I think it’s not fair, you needed your mother and I can’t be the reason you didn’t build a relationship with her. If you want to leave with her then that’s okay with me”

Is my dad being serious? He really thinks I want a relationship with my mom? I’m so mad right now did he really wake me up at 5am to talk about my mom. I’m too mad to say anything so I just go back to sleep. I slept an hour back because I’ve been busy at the workshop since yesterday at 7pm.

I wake up 3 hours later, I take a quick shower and eat breakfast. My dad is sitting at the lounge, I just ignore him I’m too mad. I know I’m not being fair. I wash the bowl after eating cornflakes and I leave I know he was waiting for me but I leave. I’ll walk I need to clear my head. As soon as I close the gate. A familiar voice shouts

“Surprise” it’s Bonga my boyfriend. I’m so happy to see him, I last saw him 2 months back. I didn’t realise how much I missed him until now.

“Not here my dad will kill you when he sees you here” I tell him smiling. At least we’ll walk together to the workshop and he’’ll probably assist me if he has time.

“Are you not happy to see me?” he asks smiling.

“Of course I am” I tell him and we walk to the workshop it usually takes me 30 minutes to walk there but with Bonga it’s going to take more than an hour. We walk and talk about everything. I didn’t tell him about my mom during our daily calls and chats. Bonga and I have known each other since I was 5 and we’ve been dating for 4 years. He’s 7 years older, a UCT computer science graduate. He works and stays in Cape Town. We see each other every 2 months and we talk daily. I will tell him about my mom later, he knows she left 20 years ago.

After an hour we are at the workshop and some of my regular clients are here waiting. I greet them and I open the roller door. We get inside and I do all the administrative work before I can start working on the cars. I work the whole day with Bonga helping me, I decide to tell him about my mom. Like I expected he’s hurt I didn’t tell him sooner but he thinks my father is right I should try and build a relationship with my mom.

“I’ve seen how this affected you remember I’ve known you since you were little” I shake my head. It’s true we’ve known each other since we were little and his mom used to joke about us getting married someday.

“I love you and I value your opinions but right now you’re talking shit” I tell him feeling betrayed. How dare he? I know I’m being childish, but he’s my bf he should take my side not my mom’s side. So I take out all my frustration on the car I’m working on.

Chapter 2

I wipe beads of sweat from my forehead using my arm. I’ve been working from 4am to 4pm for the past 2 weeks. Bonga left a week ago, it’s always sad seeing him leave but he’s coming back early January. I’m under one of my favourite cars Audi Q5 when the atmosphere changes and we all know who that is. I continue fixing the car. Three pairs of expensive shoes walk towards me.

“Why haven’t you changed the cheque” the deep voice asks. The cheque. OMW I forgot to change the cheque things have been crazy for the past 4 weeks. My granddad being sick, Nonhle appearing out of the blue, my dad and Bonga telling me to forgive and forget (I still haven’t forgiven my dad) and Bonga visiting I haven’t had time to change the cheque.

“I haven’t had time” I reply. He pulls me out of the car using the stretcher. When I look up I see the most handsome guy ever. Even Maps Maponyana isn’t this handsome. I must’ve been drooling over him.

“Close that mouth” he commands. And I comply instantly.

“You’re here because I didn’t change the cheque?” I ask him. He doesn’t say anything, instead he’s staring at me. It feels uncomfortable.

“No” he replies not expanding.

“What do you want?” I ask

“You” he replies. I let out a nervous chuckle. He’s joking right? Why would he want me? I’m way out of his league and I have a boyfriend I love very much thank you. I look back at him and he’s not laughing.

“I have a bf and I don’t want you” I tell him. He says

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