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grabbed his jacket, 'come on Kai. Let's leave those two love birds alone,' he smiled at Alex and Tom, 'it will be alright boys,' he gently patted the back of their heads, 'so see you at training tomorrow morning then Tommy. Make sure you look pretty for the journalists.' Felix winked at him. 'And you Alex? When is your big appearance?' Kai asked. 'Once Tommy's statement is published,' Alex said, 'some time tomorrow.' He smiled nervously. Tom took his hand and they said goodbye to Felix and Kai at the door.

Once they had left, the boys embraced each other silently for a moment. Alex focussed on Tom's scent, the warmth of his body and his gentle breathing. He felt calm and safe as always when Tom held him closely. 'I bet there are about a thousand cameras flashing outside this house right now and dozens of disappointed journalists getting a glimpse of Felix and Kai.' Alex said and both boys laughed. Tom put his arms around his friend's neck and looked at him seriously. 'I really hope you won't regret this.' He gulped. 'Tommy, nothing can change my mind. Not even you. I belong to you now,' Alex said, 'sod what everyone else thinks.' Tom hugged him again as he took a deep breath. 'This is total madness.' He said nervously. Alex kissed him gently. 'Let's not talk about it anymore,' he gave him a cheeky smile as he stroked his cheeks, 'let's go to bed Tommy. We both need some rest.' The boys laughed quietly and kissed each other as they were both desperately trying to forget about everything and everyone else.

Tom had another restless night. When he did manage to get some sleep he had nightmares and woke up gasping, covered in sweat. At about 7 o'clock in the morning he was getting too stressed to stay in bed any longer. He showered and got ready for training whilst Alex hurled himself out of bed with his stomach still in pain. As he walked into the lounge, Tom turned on the television. 'It'll be published any time now.' He muttered. Alex sat down next to him and gently took his ice cold hand.

'Ladies and gentlemen, good morning. Further to yesterday's news story around the alleged homosexual affair of football star Tom Stiller, there have been further developments. Late last night fellow team colleagues Felix Lang and Kai Roth left Tom Stiller's flat together but did not answer any questions by the press. This morning Tom Stiller's agent has confirmed the allegations by publishing the following statement on behalf of the footballer:

I am saddened by the way intimate details of my private life have been made public. However, I am not denying them as I want to be honest with my fans and supporters of my football club. It is true that I am in a very happy homosexual relationship and I would like to ask all fans of any club to respect this as a private matter and plead to our own fans to continue to support me and the whole team as they have done so brilliantly for years.

Meanwhile rumours about who his mystery lover may be have been spreading across the web with Alexander Hanisch being one of the names most mentioned.'

Tom switched off the television and took a deep breath looking at Alex. 'It's done.' 'You said you are in a very happy relationship.' Alex said quietly. 'I am.' Tom nodded and smiled at him. Alex pulled him close and kissed him lovingly. 'And today we tell the world about it,' his heart was racing. He knew this was going to be a tough journey, 'better get ready then, hmm?' Alex said and took Tom's hands. His friend looked at him confused. 'But you've got time. I thought you'll stay here until your press conference is over?' Alex smiled at him. 'I need to see one of your doctors Tommy. This bruise is looking nasty still. I'll come with you to training this morning.' Tom frowned at him. 'What? You want to leave the house with me? Now? But this will confirm all the rumours Alex. Oh,' Tom nodded sadly as he understood the plan, 'that's what you want,' he paused, 'of course.' Alex kissed him again. 'Tommy, you heard what they said. Everyone knows anyway. People aren't stupid,' he smiled, 'give me five minutes, okay?' He stroked his cheeks and went into the bathroom.

Tom watched him get ready and kept checking the number of news vans and journalists that were gathered outside from his balcony. 'What's your plan exactly then?' Tom asked. 'Nothing much,' Alex said, 'I don't think we'll need to say anything really,' he took Tom's hand, 'I'll just do this. That will be obvious enough I would have thought?' Tom stared at him with fear in his eyes. 'Jesus.' He squeezed his friend's hand. The boys looked at each other. 'Are you ready?', Alex asked gently and stroked Tom's cheek, 'to tell the world?' He smiled bravely but could feel his own heart race again. Tom took a deep breath and gulped. 'If you are, then I am too.' He said nodding. 'Let's go then.' Alex whispered and the boys shared a long, gentle kiss.

They grabbed their bags and decided to wear sunglasses and baseball caps to make them feel more sheltered and protected from the reporters when they were to leave the house. Then the boys silently and slowly walked all the way down from Tom's apartment towards the main front door. There were journalists waiting right outside by the entrance, they could tell.

Tom felt frightened again and suddenly stopped short as he turned around to Alex. 'I don't know if I can do this Alex.' He was breathing hard and looked at his friend for help. Alex grabbed his head and rested his forehead against his'. 'Tommy,' he said and closed his eyes as he spoke, 'this is perhaps the toughest thing we have to face yet. But this is exactly why I'm here with you,' Tom was almost in tears as he was gripped by panic, 'I love you,' Alex said and kissed him. Tom stared at him, 'now take my hand,' Alex urged him, 'take my hand and don't let go Tommy. Don't look at anyone, don't say anything. Just hold my hand and walk straight towards the car.' He looked at him intently as he offered him his right hand. Tom was trembling with fear. He slowly took it and held it very gently. Alex smiled at him encouragingly. He could feel Tom's cold hand and see the worry in his eyes. And he wished he could do something to spare him this moment of utter exposure. 'I love you too.' Tom finally said.

And as both boys stepped outside into the flashlights of dozens of cameras, hand in hand, they both knew they had just embarked on the most difficult journey of their lives.
Chapter 8



It was late and wouldn't stop snowing in Dortmund. The city had become quiet and the snow had silenced any sound of traffic still moving outside Tom's house.

The boys were lying in bed facing each other as they tried to unwind listening to some of their favourite music. They had dimmed all the lights in the flat, they couldn't bear any more flash aggressive ones after today's events. Alex was stroking Tom's hand reassuringly. Both boys still felt somewhat traumatised.

The picture of them leaving Tom's flat earlier that day had started appearing all over the news and web. Tom walking ahead of Alex, holding him by his hand, with their heads bowed low, hiding behind their sunglasses and baseball caps as much as that was at all possible. They had been inundated with questions by loud journalists both outside Tom's house and at the training ground. When they had arrived there they had been confronted by dozens of angry fans who had gathered to voice the disapproval of their relationship. As they had tried to make their way through the crowds, security guards had had to step in to safely get them into the club. Both had kept clutching each other's hand and had not said a word to anyone, just like they had agreed.

As Tom had tried to start his training session and concentrate on his work, Alex had been checked by the team doctors, who had confirmed he was not fit to play the next day but instead was to rest another few days until the bruise and the swelling of his stomach would have gone down.

Alex had watched his own club’s press conference on television and similar to Tom’s team, the managers had all expressed united support for Alex. This had again been backed by Winter, who had stressed the importance of accepting homosexuality as a reality and normality and condemning any homophobic behaviour in football.

'Tommy,' Alex whispered, 'we got through it in the end.' Tom opened his eyes and looked at him seriously. 'That was only the beginning,' he said, 'it will get worse. We're playing at home tomorrow, that will be the real first test,' he gulped and closed his eyes again, 'in front of thousands of people who just cannot understand.' 'But there will be some who will understand,' Alex stroked his cheeks and kissed him gently, 'I have to say,' he picked up the evening newspaper again that had their shot on the front page, 'I think we make an awesome couple,' he grinned, 'don't you?' Tom couldn't help but laugh. He shook his head in disbelief. 'Let's have another look,' he propped himself up on his elbow. He looked at the picture and laughed again, 'not too bad.' He winked at Alex. Tom stroked his friend's strong shoulder and neck and gazed at him. 'I couldn't have done this without you today,' he paused, 'you knew, didn't you?', Alex met his eyes looking up from the newspaper, 'you knew I needed you. More than I knew myself,' Alex smiled and kissed him. Tom pulled him close, 'God only knows what is going to happen next,' he shouted and laughed, 'but you're worth it all.' They gently kissed each other again and eventually fell asleep in one another's arms.

On Saturday morning the boys were greeted by warm winter sunshine streaming into the bedroom. It had finally stopped snowing and Dortmund had turned into a sunny winter wonderland. Alex stretched in bed as he woke up.

Tom was still fast asleep on his front and Alex gently stroked his hair. He noticed how exhausted and drained he looked even in his sleep. Tom had kicked the duvet off him at some point during the night and Alex studied his naked body admiringly. To him, he was the most beautiful creature with his toned shoulders and arms, his muscular back and bottom, his strong thighs and carves. He could have looked at him for days and yet not get tired or enough of him. 'You're perfect.' Alex smiled as he kissed his cheek. Tom stirred in his sleep but didn't wake up. The last two nights of restlessness had clearly caught up with him. Alex fished

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