Jail Bird. by Em. Z. (best free ebook reader .txt) 📕

the person on the other line she's Tracy, and when I get to the phone, she asks the riddle to ensure it's me. An old trick. He uses different riddles most of the time." I muttered.

"I see." He said.

I grinned. "So have we learned our lesson? Next time we hear the name Danny, or Tracy, we know it's who?"

"Your father."

"That's right, I'm so proud of you! Now seeing as I'm not going to answer any of your questions, I'll be going now." I said, standing up.

He watched with a tired expression as Glen took me out of the room. Poor fellah, he needs to take a hint.

Candy Land.

 

Sitting in jail for two weeks is like sitting in a barred room with nothing to do.

Oh wait.

So yeah, my father is in Virginia *ahem* and I'm sitting here in a cell waiting for my two weeks to be up already. He-he, that deal was such bull.

Every once in a while, my traitor mind would go back to that stupid kiss, and I would have to figuratively beat the shit out of my brain...oh wait, no I would start beating my palm against my forehead, so it was very literal. There was nothing "figurative" about it.

I probably had a red mark on my forehead. Judging by the puzzled looks the policemen gave me when they walked by, I definitely did.

Wonderful.

I paced my cell, yelled at other inmates to annoy the hell out of them, and sang to them. You might think, well I think that's nice! Well when your voice chooses to change keys every two seconds, it's not very nice. Some inmates actually complained about it to the police, they were too busy laughing their asses off as I sang to do anything.

"twinkle twinkle little star, how I wonder what you are...something, something diamond! Something else in the sky, with a twinkle added there or something!"

So I never learned the most popular nersery rhyme in the world. Sue me.

Victor came marching into the hallway and glared at me. I stopped singing and could almost hear everyone sigh in relief.

"You're killing my inmates!"

I laughed, loud. Glen came up to the cell, wiping tears away as he gathered himself from laughing so hard. "Sh-she did that a couple years back, too, when she was in here for DUI. She got bored and sang to the whole place. That's why chief quit, actually." Glen said, thinking back.

I laughed harder, rolling off of the lumpy bed, but catching myself on my hands and the balls of my feet.

"I..I made a...chief of police...quit his job!" I clutched my stomach, almost sobbing I was laughing so hard.

"Get her a deck of cards before she kills the cats that eat the mice out there." Victor pointed to my window, glaring at me.

I cackled, I actually cackled at that. It was so hilarious that I laughed at myself after that. Man, three O clock in the morning is a really bad time to be laughing. I'm so delirious.

Victor left, and I composed myself, gasping for breath as I calmed down. "Whew! That was funny." 

I watched as Glen came back with a deck of cards and a bord game, and I took it from him with a grateful smile, still giggling a bit.

The bord game was candy land. Seriously? I can't play with anyone, I'll just cheat with myself. I'll pick a favorite gingerbread man, and then I'll forget who's turn it was, and just assume it was the blue gingerbread man's turn because everyone knows that green sucks.

And that's pretty much how it went.

"Oh! I got two blues on one card! That must mean I can jump...four blue squares up! Haha, green gingerbread dude, you suck!" I yelled at him.

Stupid green gingerbread dude got in front my main man, Blue. His stupid little happy face, all smug and shit. Now Blue can be all smug and shit as he smiles and waves back at Green who is two spaces down from Blue. Take that, bitch!

Okay, so I'm a little mean to Green. And I totally did cheat. But Green is my enemy! Ever since he sided with my evil big brother, and won that day, he's my mortal enemy. Red and yellow aren't even a part of this war.

"Come on, get a yellow, get a yellow! Red! Argh!" I angrily put Green three spaces in front of Blue.

"Okay, give me a purple, come on, luck, be on my side!" I yelled.

I picked up a card and looked at it. "Oh my God it's sugarplum land!" I screamed.

I eagerly put Blue way ahead in Sugarplum land and did a little happy dance. 

"Take that, Green, you traitorous son of a bitch!" I said.

I don't remember falling asleep, but I do remember I was ten spaces from winning. I was lying on my stomach, with the matress on the floor now, inching Blue up to the finish line, not even bothering to give stupid Green a turn. 

A loud rattle of the cell doors made me jerk awake. I looked up at Victor with an annoyed expression and a raised eyebrow, my eyes tired. "Can I help you?" I asked.

"I was told you stayed up until four last night yelling something about Green being an evil son of a bitch. I see now what they were talking about." He said, his eyes moving to my cheek.

I felt my cheek, and realized that Green was stuck to it, I took him and threw him across the room. "The traitor was going to kill me in my sleep!" I yelled, suddenly wide awake.

I looked down at Blue, who was now knocked over, just before the finish line. He was a dying gingerbread man, given up on his dreams.

"Green, you killed Blue!" I cried.

Victor looked at me like I was insane. "Green murdered Blue, and he tried to murder me! Do not be fooled by his happy appearance, he is out for blood!" I warned him.

"Okay...well your mother is here. She bailed you out." Victor said slowly, backing away.

"Oh wonderful," I groaned, "And I was having so much fun here." I said.

I picked up Blue and walked over to the cell as he opened the door. I handed him the poor gingerbread man, and said, "Keep him safe, don't let Green take his life again!"

God I was a good actor. I sounded so wounded, I think even Victor believed that I was in grief.

I changed my emotions like a switch, and I smiled brightly, smacking him a couple times on the back. "See yah later."

I skipped down the hallway, snatching my leather jacket and wallet from Glen as I passed. "Thanks for the bored game, Glen!" I called.

Mom was talking to a police officer very seriously when I walked up, slipping on my jacket. I caught part of the conversation as I came closer.

"-really think that's neccesary, Baits?" Mom asked him.

"If your husband wants you protected, then we have to protect you, ma'am. He may be a criminal, but he knows something we don't." He explained.

I snorted. "I'm not going into protective custody. Uh-uh. I cannot deal with anymore police. Count me out." I said.

Mom glowered at me. "You are going into protective services whether you want it or not!"

"No, I'm not! I'm twenty two! I'm not a little girl anymore!"

She sighed heavily. "Your father should have never brought you into this mess. He should have left our family alone!" Mom complained.

"What did you say?" I asked her, deadly calm.

She looked at me, exhasperated. "You wouldn't be in jail right now, trying to fill your father's shoes!" She said.

Anger coursed through me. "My father is the only reason we're still alive, you ungrateful- Gah!" I stopped myself from saying the very word that would get me in a world of hurt.

"Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady. We are living with this nice man in his summer home and you are not going to complain!" She said, her voice stern as she gestured behind me.

I turned to see who she was pointing out, and the only one standing there was Victor.

My mouth dropped open. "Y-you mean...chief of police, Victor Price?" I asked.

"That's right." Mom confirmed.

"Oh, no. I'm not going anywhere near that crazy dude's house! He hates my guts!" I hissed.

"You are going and that's final!" She said.

"No!" I said, crossing my arms.

"If you go, I'll give you all the cookies you want." She said.

Whoa, Mom was pulling out the big guns, still I valued my sanity over cookies.

"And chocolate milk, with your own personal fridge."

Fuck.

***

I can't believe I am doing this. I thought for the twentieth time as Mom drove us out to Florida to stay at Victor Price's house. And for a stupid fridge with some chocolate milk and cookies!

Mmm, but it's going to be so nice to have unlimited resources. 

Maybe I can just live on that. I thought, I'll stay in my room until the whole thing blows over, living on cookies and milk. Yes, I could feel an evil smile curl at my lips. Yes I like this plan.

Hey, what can I say? I'm a kid at heart. A really stupid kid at heart.

We pulled into the driveway, and I pouted all the way to the door of the really big, really old, beach-side house. Mom rang the doorbell, and I glowered at the door. The handle turned slowly, and the door opened, revealing Victor in khaki shorts and a black T-shirt that fit him nicely.

I needed a beer, not chocolate milk.

I grumbled something inteligable as Mom greeted Victor politely, and walked into the house. I walked into the living room and plopped down, not even noticing there was someone there until they said something.

"Hello." The word was drawn out, almost like he was singing it.

"Yeah, hi." I grumbled.

I looked up at him, and I realized that he was about as hot as Victor. His eyes were sea blue, and sparkling with amusement, and he had this amused, angelic grin on his face as he stared at me. His hair was blonde and in choppy lairs on his head. "I'm Logan, Victor's brother. And you?" He asked.

"Was your mother a fan of X-men or something?" I said instead of answering the question.

"Yes. Our sister's name is Jean." He nodded.

Interesting.

"Cool, we could get along. My name's Jane." I said.

His smile grew. "So what are you here for? My brother says it's classified." He said.

"Nope, sorry, can't tell you that. All I can say is that my favorite color is green and that I own a black Camaro." Code for I'm incognito and I'm not going to talk about it.

Logan stared at me with a weird expression. "Okay."

I smiled at him. "I can tell you that  my Dad is one of the most famous robbers in my city." I said, propping my feet up on the table.

"Jane, get your feet off of his table!" Mom scolded.

"I'm twenty two, you can't boss me around anymore!" I stuck my tongue out at her.

She glowered at me. "Hello, I'm Miranda, Dear, the regretful mother of that monster of a girl over there." She introduced herself to Logan.

That hurt. But I didn't give her the satisfaction of knowing it, as I rolled my eyes and blew a piece of hair