Less than Perfect by S. J. Evans (love letters to the dead txt) 📕

And the good thing is you’re alright; you’re alive.”
“Yeah sure,” she sighed. “You’re right.”
He pushed himself back up on his feet and watched her carefully, as if he was inspecting her. “Do you need anything, Skye? Anything at all?”
With a weary smile, she nodded and started to sit up. He quickly assisted her in sitting by carefully pushing her up by the small of her back with one hand while the other took her hand. Once all the way upright, Skye pulled her hand away and placed both hands in her lap, looking at Joe again.
Seeing him again reminded her of how much she wished he’d been her stepfather, not Johnny, but Joe. He was gentle, kind, caring—so much sweeter than Johnny ever was. And Skye knew that he and Leah would’ve been perfect together; she knew they both had feelings for the other, but Johnny had ruined it. Thinking back a little, she realized Johnny probably had known Leah was falling for Joe and made his move when he did, all because he ultimately wanted Skye.
Suddenly she felt sick, her stomach clenched up in tight knots. Johnny repulsed her. With his vile ways and schemes, he’d violated her trust in more ways than one and it was a miracle that she’d even given Jules a chance to enter her life so intimately; she could’ve pushed him away. She still could push him away. But she’d fallen in love with him; he meant everything to her.
Taking one long, deep breath, she cleared her mind from the images of Johnny’s violation, replacing them with Jules instead. She remembered the morning before he left her and the way he touched her, how he carefully explored her limits without pushing her further. She remembered the way he looked at her, as if she was the most important person in his world, and how the look gave her a sensation she’d never felt before. She remembered his scent, his taste, his everything, and she wanted him back; she wanted to be with him more than anything else. Nothing else mattered, as long as she got to be with the man she loved.
At the thought of seeing him again, she smiled. She remembered what Leah had told her about Jules. He was downstairs, mere walls and floors separating them, so close she could almost feel his presence beside her. Her worries fell away almost instantly. She didn’t think about Johnny and his abuse, nor did she think about her meeting with the Chief to explain what Johnny had done to her; all she could think about was Jules, her hero.
Back in reality, she felt Joe’s hand touch her shoulder, carefully. “Skye?” he called, repeatedly. “Skye, are you alright?”
She exhaled, opening her eyes and looking up at Joe who stood beside her. She noticed the concern he was trying to suppress under a crooked smile and nodded, still torn between reality and Jules.
“I’m doing much better,” she admitted. The truth of the matter was that she really did feel better. Besides the aches she still felt where her body had been beaten, she felt as though much had healed. Her head only ached when she moved it quickly and her nerves were put at ease. Even without Jules by her side, she’d managed to improve, just by the thought of him.
“Do you need anything?” Joe asked, his expression changing. “Pain medicine? Or maybe you’d like something to help you sleep? It’s best if you get plenty of rest.”
At the mention of sleep, she sighed. Part of her longed to fall into a peaceful slumber, one without the haunting nightmares of Johnny’s betrayal, but another part of her, a stronger one, didn’t want to do anything without seeing Jules first. Part of her believed that if she saw him or felt his presence right next to her again, she’d be free of the haunting feeling that gnawed on her insides while she slept. And she’d finally get the sleep she needed afterwards.
“May I have something for my headache? I think it would really help.”
He smiled, nodding his head. “Of course, Skye,” he said. “I’ll be right back. Try not to get yourself hurt while I’m gone.”
“What’s that supposed to mean, Joe?” she scoffed, forcing a frown as she stifled a giggle.
“Don’t do anything risky,” he added, winking. “I’ll be right back.”
“As if,” she retorted, smiling proudly. “I’m never risky.”
He laughed then, an abrupt laugh filled with disbelief. “That would be quite the understatement, doll. But I’ll let you win.”
She bit her lip, suppressing a laugh, as she remembered the games they used to play when he and Leah had been together. She and Joe had been great friends back then, always teasing each other and making each other smile. He’d told her he considered her to be his little girl once, a couple days before Leah broke everything off, and she’d only laughed at him. But now, she wished she really was his little girl, not just another patient that happened to be an old friend’s daughter. If only he had proposed to Leah an hour earlier that night many years ago, maybe than he would’ve joined their family and Skye never would’ve been abused by a monster.
But that no longer mattered.
What mattered was that she had been abused but she’d pulled through it all; she still was pulling through the abuse, with fear harbored deep inside her heart, and it didn’t change anything. She’d grown stronger, she realized, not weaker. Maybe she’d fallen under Johnny’s control by fear, but that didn’t mean she was weak, only provoked. All she needed was a little help, along with some confidence, and she’d be able to handle anything that came at her next. Even if it was Johnny.
Leaning her back against the headboard of the bed, she gazed around the room as Joe started to leave, finding nothing but a bunch of brown and furniture. Where had Leah gone while I was asleep? She wondered, chewing on her lip.
“Hey Joe,” she spoke up, gaze fixed on him. He turned around. “Where’s my mom?”
He stared through her for a moment before her question really hit him. Instantly, his face lit up, a sign of the feelings he still seemed to have for Leah. “She’s asleep in her room.”
“Is she okay? She’s not sick, is she?”
“She’s just fine,” he said. “The drug that Johnny gave her didn’t cause any harm to the baby, but it did wear her down quite a bit. She should be back to normal in a day or two as long as she rests. I think the stress of the situation has taken quite a toll on her too. She feels terrible about what happened to you.”
“I told her not to feel bad,” Skye murmured, quiet enough that Joe couldn’t hear. He looked at her with curiosity and she shrugged. “I just wish she wouldn’t blame herself for what happened. It’s not like she could’ve known, you know?”
He thought about it for a moment, face twisted in consideration. “She’s your mother, Skye,” he replied. “And, being your mother, she’ll always feel responsible for what happens to you, even if it was something she couldn’t have prevented. She’ll just need some time to deal.”
Registering his words, she felt a pang of guilt pinch her nerves. She suddenly felt responsible for her mother’s pain, wishing she’d told her sooner and gotten them both out of all the pain. But Johnny had threatened her, so she knew she hadn’t had much of a choice. Johnny, once again, was responsible for someone else’s pain.
How could he do all he’s done and not feeling anything at all? She would never know, nor would she want to.
“I guess we’ll all need a little time to deal,” she whispered.
Joe nodded a little and pointed to the door. “Do you still want those meds?”
She smiled weakly and let out a breath. “Yes, please.”
He walked over to the door and turned the knob, giving Skye a small before leaving the room entirely, the door opened only a crack.
She let out an exasperated breath and closed her eyes, releasing the oppressive fear that managed to slip through the internal wall she’d put up. “Jules

,” she breathed, sinking against the headboard. “I need you

.”
Her mind drifted off into another world, filled with light and happiness, a world where Jules was the only one with her. She felt warmth spread throughout her body, heating her cold nerves, as she saw his breathtaking eyes staring back at her, framed by golden locks of hair and a tanned face. He was only a few feet away from her, almost in reach, when something snapped her away from the daydream, gasping as she came out of it.
“Skye?” Jules’s soft voice whispered from the doorway. “You awake?”
She bolted upright at the sound of his voice, nerves on sudden high alert. It was a good sort of alert though; it was nothing like it had been when she thought about Johnny. She felt butterflies fluttering in her stomach, causing a sensation that devoured all her fears.
That was when she saw him, peeking through the crack in the door, smile spread wide across his face, looking straight back at her. Heat instantly burned her cheeks, tingles shooting down her arms in a blooming progression. He took her breath away, in a good, clean way, and she couldn’t look away from him.
“Good, you’re awake.” He straightened up, pushing the door open and stepping inside. “How’re you feeling?”
She rubbed her sweaty palms against the bedding, smiling crookedly. “I’m good,” she answered honestly, giggling inside. “Just a little tired.”
He ran a hand through his hair and walked over to the bed, sitting down on the side opposite to her. “Do you want me to leave then?”
He was close enough to where she could smell his familiar scent, inhale it if she so desired, and despite any pain it inflicted, she shook her head and crawled over to him, drawn by a force she couldn’t repel. “I want you here, Jules.”
Grinning, he helped her over to him and pulled her in his arms, their gaze never breaking from each other. He brushed a hand through her tangled hair, chuckling. “Need a brush?”
She pushed him by the shoulder. “Jules!” she hissed, scowling.
“Ow!” he exclaimed, putting on a hurt expression.
She looked at him carefully for a moment before it dawned on her that she’d hit his bad shoulder. “Oh, Jules, I’m sorry, I—”
He cut her off, pressing a finger to her lips and leaning his face near her ear. “I was only kidding, Trouble.”
She shivered as his breath brushed by her ear,