How to Talk to Anyone (Junior Talker #4) by DeYtH Banger (novels in english TXT) 📕

sorrow, loss, fear, loneliness, anger, or whatever feelings arise that are part of our grieving. Just as we grieve and gradually heal when someone close to us dies (often with the support of friends), we can heal when faced with rejection. We can also learn from our experience, which allows us to move forward in a more empowered way.

 

I hope I’m not making this sound easy. I’ve often been in the room with clients who have experienced a devastating loss when their hopes and expectations were rudely dashed, especially when old traumas were being reactivated. We may benefit by processing our feelings with a caring, empathic therapist, as well as availing ourselves of trusted friends who know how to listen rather than dispense unwanted advice.

 

The term “personal growth” is often used loosely, but perhaps one meaning is to cultivate inner resilience by acknowledging and even welcoming whatever we’re experiencing. It takes courage and creativity to bring a gentle awareness to what we may like to push away.

As we become more confident that we can be with whatever experience arises as a result of connecting with people, we can initiate, deepen, and enjoy relationships in a more relaxed and fulfilling way. As we become less afraid of what we’re experiencing inside — that is, less afraid of ourselves — we become less intimidated by rejection and more empowered to love and be loved.

 

 

 

What to Do When a Girl is Playing Hard to Get!

 

 

 

Is she playing hard to get?

Dating is complicated. It’s more or less like a game, no matter how much we want to romanticize it.

At times, even if you feel well prepared, thinking you’ve got all the best advice under your sleeves to ensure a smooth date, you might just come across a woman that seems a bit too hard to get.

You know what I’m talking about. You’re into a girl who clearly shows interest in you, but somehow she’s making it quite a challenge for you to win over her over.

When this happens, it’s easy to feel like giving up for fear of rejection. But there’s no need to feel negative. Here’s what you should do when a girl is playing hard to get.

1. Make sure she’s genuinely playing hard to get, not just really busy

This might sound like a no-brainer advice. However, it’s easy to mistake being busy for “playing hard to get”.

If the girl of your attention is working 12 hours a day, you’ll have a hard time making dinner plans with her.

Not to mention, if she’s a career-oriented type, there’s a good chance that she’s into her job more than her romantic relationship.

2. Start giving some more effort

Want to take her out this weekend? Don’t wait until Friday morning to send her a text.

Though surprises or last-minute events can be fun, girls usually need a bit of time to buffer. Plus, if she’s really playing hard to get, she won’t accept a last-minute invitation.

You’re in the beginning stage of dating, show some effort. Women want to be courted and to feel special. Sincere effort and a little extra planning can go a long way.

3. Play hard to get too!

Let me reiterate: dating is a game. So why not play her game?

Sometimes the only solution a woman who plays hard to get is to play her back a little. As if you’re in a basketball game, keep the ball bouncing and forth.

Give her all the attention: the likes, the calls, the smiley texts. Then little by little reduce the attention.

This makes her feel like losing you and the next thing you know, she’ll start giving you all the attention you deserve.

4. If all else fails, confront her with grace

Sometimes the best thing to do is to be honest and open. If you’ve been dating for a few months and you still receive the “playing hard to get” treatment, it’s time to have a sincere conversation about where your relationship is heading.

Keep in mind that timing is crucial. Be careful not to spoil the mood and give her the wrong idea about your intention.

This might sound like a daunting task, but it’s worth the try. Be confident and sincere — she’ll appreciate it.

The Bottom Line

There’s no one right answer when it comes to unpacking the mystery of dating. Dating is not black or white — it’s the gray area in-between.

So while you are at it, why not try to have a little fun. Even if things don’t work out between you two, at least you get to the experience the joy and thrill of dating.

For more advice on dating and personal development, contact us today!

 

 

 

 

6 Questions to Ask Yourself When Fear Starts Peeking Around the Corner

 

By Eve Hogan 

 

 

Most of us have a “fight or flight” response to fear. We either get reactive about a perceived potential threat, or we want to retreat as far away from the potential danger as we can. The challenge is that fear is usually over a situation that isn’t actually happening at the time. Consequently, we start fighting, disengage, get anxious or run away over something that we think might happen, but isn’t.

In other words, we either leap headfirst into drama or run the other way over a story we are potentially making up. We end up damaging our relationships by aligning our behavior with our illusions.

 

Most of us are not trained to look at fear as a helpful thing, but fear actually flags awareness about what truly matters to us. Imagine fear as a giant boulder marking the spot where the treasure is buried. Underneath the fear of public speaking is the desire to be accepted. Underneath the fear of dying is likely the love of life or health.

 

This is really important to look at because if we only know the fear that exists, we can only honor the fear through our behavior. Fear-motivated behavior is not usually based in wisdom and forethought. Therefore, when we honor the fear instead of the treasure, we risk creating the very thing we are trying to avoid. The problem then becomes our behavior.

Let me give you an example: If someone is afraid that her partner is going to cheat on her, the treasure that is hiding underneath that fear is that she cherishes their loving, monogamous relationship.

 

If she aligns her behavior with her fear, she’s likely to be snoopy, suspicious, distrusting, possessive, withdrawn, anxious, depressed, and sarcastic, to name a few. These behaviors are not likely to bode well for the harmony in the relationship and may actually encourage the husband to withdrawal.

 

If, instead, she aligns her behavior with her target of creating a healthy, harmonious relationship, she is likely to be more loving, understanding, intimate, clear, fun, and trusting. These behaviors are likely to encourage a deeper, more intimate relationship with her partner.

When a fear moves beyond the “fantasized experience” into a more probable or actual scenario, it turns from fear into a call to action; it becomes time to do something differently. Then, the inquiry becomes, “What do I need to do?” Action either annihilates the fear or manages the situation fueling the fear.

 

Here are some questions to explore when fear raises its head:

 

Is anything actually happening to me now? Or — as Byron Katie invites us to investigate: Is this (fear) true? Is my fear based on real evidence or an imagined scenario? What is the treasure that my fear is marking? What matters to me that I perceive is threatened? What would my behavior be if I aligned with my fear? What would my behavior be if I aligned with what I treasure? What (wise) actions do I need to take?

 

Rather than “fight or flight,” I invite you to “inquire” — look deeper — look beneath your fear to see what you cherish and then strategize for more appropriate and effective responses of protection.

 

 

 

She Doesn’t Want a Womanizer: Avoid This Stuff

 

 

She Doesn’t Want a Womanizer

 

Women would rather be single than to date a womanizer.

If they feel like you may be playing several women at once, they will lose interest fast.

You might think that being a womanizer sounds fun, or that it attracts dates. But you will soon learn, this is far from the truth.

There are some dating tips that every man should know so they won’t get labeled as “that guy”.

Here is our advice to help you avoid making mistakes of wooing women the wrong way.

Don’t Be a Womanizer! Dating Tips Every Man Should Know

You might be wondering who exactly is a womanizer? What kind of manmakes his dates run?

Here are the top five examples of who you don’t want to be.

 

The Smooth Talker

 

This is the guy who calls her baby, darling or sweetheart. Then again, he calls everyone baby, darling or sweetheart.

He knows all the best pick up lines. After all, he’s had plenty of practice. He uses them all the time.

He tells her he’s falling in love on the first date. He’s charming, witty, funny and spits out romantic lines that sound like they have been plucked straight out of a box-office love story.

He compliments her eyes, her hair, her outfit, her shoes, her family and her physique. In fact, he compliments her so much, that nothing he says sounds sincere.

Women want an authentic man, who reserves special lines just for her. If she feels like you are a phony, she most likely won’t be around for long.

It has been said that men like what they see and women like what they hear. But they won’t like hearing empty and insincere words.

 

The Ladies Man

 

His Rolodex is full of potential dates. His Facebook page shows likes by hundreds of women, features photos of him with a different lady at every other event and has long threads filled with flirty comments.

He flirts with everyone he meets. He has a list of girls that he’s “seeing”. He is reluctant to remove his “single status”.

If you have lots of women who are flirty, friendly and interested. If you aren’t willing to draw boundaries for your girlfriend when it comes to other girls, then she is probably on her way out the door.

 

The Fast Mover

 

If you lean in for a kiss on the first date before pulling out of her driveway, don’t be surprised if she balks.

When you go to walk her in from your date, you reach in the backseat to grab your duffel bag with a change of clothes and toothbrush. She might not let you through the door.

While women crave affection, they don’t want too much too soon. If you behave this way on the first few dates, women will assume that this is how you act on all of your dates.

She won’t feel special and it is likely to make her feel used, an emotion that women hate.

If you want to make it to the second date, don’t attempt a home run on the first. Besides, intimacy is best when both partners feel connected and confident with one another.

 

The Secret Agent

 

This guy is a master of disguise and keeper of secrets. He doesn’t give anything away and likes being an enigma.

When the phone rings, he won’t tell her who called. If he’s busy next weekend, he won’t tell her his plans. He answers her questions as vaguely as possible.

While there is no need to divulge everything, keeping too many secrets can raise suspicions quick.

You can reassure her by offering a few details here and there. If your mom calls every Tuesday at 8, or you have a golf tournament with your buddies planned, you might be doing more harm than good by withholding such tidbits of information.

If she feels like you are hesitant to let her in, she may be hesitant to hang around.

 

The Wandering Eye

 

If you want her to believe that you only have eyes for her, then your eyes shouldn’t wander to every attractive woman that passes.

Women are intuitive. And they notice everything, it seems. This is especially true in the early phases of the relationship.

You may not think she noticed when you winked at the waitress, or made eyes at the girl in line behind you at the ticket box, or stared a little longer