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my cheek, changing the topic.

‘I know,’ I winked.

He smiled.

‘Let’s go outside, I am starving for an ice-cream with you,’

The sun was setting. In a meantime the sky would turn from light to dark blue, revealing gold from sun.

Sitting in the nearest ice-cream parlour he asked: ‘Can I buy you balloons?’

‘Wow, I would love it,’ I said smiling hugely.

He took my hand and in a fraction of second we were out of the ice-cream parlour and right in front were standing a man selling balloons.

How he got to know I like balloons? I never told him. Wow.

Red, yellow, blue, green, pink. He bought me so many beautiful balloons.

He is an angel.

I was really very happy because that moment contained thousand of beautiful feelings.

‘I love you,’ I whispered.

‘I love you too,’ he whispered back.

We started walking towards his home. That was a silent walk home. I was happy to have him beside me.

On the way home I saw a kid in rags with his mother. I stopped to hand him all of the balloons. He was happy to have them. That smile which he gave after I patted on his shoulder was one of the biggest gifts I received that day.

As usual, on return to his home, we sat in his back porch. That was a silent and easy place. The night had wore on with couple of stars and a crescent shining brightly.

I had told my parents not to worry and that I’ll be late.

I have always loved nights because I love to dream of the moon kissing me, and to feel all the power of stars in me.

‘I want to dance,’ I said suddenly, wanting to dance.

‘What? But I don’t know how to dance,’ he sounded surprised.

‘Neither do I, but we can try,’ I said standing up and offering him my hand.

Out of weirdness he placed his hand in mine. And we danced, danced to the rhythm of our heart beat.

‘You know we share a special bond, a bond no one can understand,’ he said.

‘Yes, I know. And I don’t even want anyone to understand that bond,’

‘I love you,’ I whispered as he circled his arms around me, clasping me nearer.

‘As I love you,’ he said smiling as if twirling in his sweet dreams.

I stayed there in his arms, my head on his chest, listening to his soft easy heartbeat, never wanting the moment to end.

‘You know I can stay here forever like this,’ I said playing with his t-shirt.

‘As I can stay forever like this,’ he answered.

I lifted my head up to see his face, to look him in his eyes. He was doing the same. My heart skipped a beat.

Will he kiss?

Staring in my dark brown eyes with his deep brown eyes, in which I could see the love for me, he slowly leaned in as if he was scared to do that.

Closing my eyes I gave him allowance.

It was like a cool wind caressing my lips. His lips were gentle against mine and tender. Very tender.

As he began to part his lips I, hurriedly not wanting to come to an end, kissed him back revealing all my feelings.

It was over as soon as it was started. He looked at me sheepishly.

Did I do something funny? I don’t know how to kiss. Ugh! I feel embarrassed.

‘You are in love, it happens,’ he smiled.

Hell! Wasn’t I thinking the same? How can he do that?

His arms freed me and I felt little at ease. He feverishly kissed my head, taking my hand.

That’s better!

He took me back to where chairs were placed and I took a seat beside him.

He is irresistible even with his shaved head. Wow.

‘Hummph,’

‘What?’ I asked when he made a want-to-say-something sound.

‘You know how it felt like?’

Is he talking about kiss? Oops!

‘How?’

‘Umm… like the butterflies found freedom at the touch of your lips,’

‘Wow,’ I said not expecting this answer.

‘Will you love me forever?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I will,’

‘Even after my death?’

‘I’ll love you till my last breath and you are not going to die.’ I said emphasizing over every single word.

‘The way you care for me and love me make me want to live more,’ he whispered.

‘You are going to live,’ I said caressing his arm.

That night was beautiful. I stayed with him as long as I could, talking, eating, laughing, playing and kissing every now and then and almost forgetting his illness.

After that I started to meet him more often. I tried to spend as much time as possible with him so he could be happy. We did all the funny things like we drew each other’s faces, played ludo, made songs and tried to sing them and all. It was fun with him.

As the days passed, he became more weak. And sometimes he was even too weak to talk to me. I cried knowing he is suffering a lot but I never told him. He already was in pain.

Painful chemotherapies went on which made his hopes and him weaker.

‘I am very lucky to have you,’ once he said, lying on his bed while I was reading him a book.

‘So am I,’ I kissed his forehead.

‘I love you very much,’

‘I love you too,’

We spent much time together trying to be happy. We talked about good things. And more than anything else, at that time of my life, I wanted him to live.

Finally the date of surgery was confirmed. I became more scared but I never let him know.

I was waiting for this date and now it brought creeps down my spine when I thought that he’ll be going to undergo such pain. And it was the thing which would tell me if my prayers were going to be answered or not.

‘Are you scared?’ he asked me in the morning of the day he was going to go through that horrible surgery.

‘Yes I am,’ I whispered.

‘I am too,’ he said tightening the grip on my hand.

‘You are going to be okay,’ I said.

‘You sure?’

‘I am,’ I said even though I wasn’t that sure but I had a feeling that everything was going to be fine.

‘Then why are you scared?’

‘Because it sounds painful,’

‘Hmm, Even though I’ve told you this before but I want to tell you again that I love you very much and I am very lucky to have you and you are the best gift I have ever received from God and if I could I can spent all my life hugging you,’ he whispered, every single word clearly, with his eyes dimly closed and his hands cupping mine.

I kissed his forehead again, pursing my tears back.

Evening arrived. At 5:00 pm he was in Operation Theater. I was in waiting room, praying. His mother too was there with me. She was praying too. Her tears escaped her eyes every now and then and she hurriedly wiped them off from the back of her sleeve.

Minutes seemed to be hours. And hours seemed to be days. Finally I saw a doctor moving towards us.

‘Congratulations,’ doctor smiled.

It was like someone was saying those words from far far away.

‘You can see him now but he is still unconscious,’ the doctor continued.

*

Diary,

I know I’ve filled you a lot. I’ve never written so much to you before. I just wanted to write about us.

Right now he is lying in his hospital bed with his beautiful eyes, closed. He’ll be waking up anytime now. And I am waiting desperately for him to open his eyes.

He looks alright yet week. He’ll take some time to be better again.

I am sitting beside his bed on a small sofa and his mother is here too. She too is waiting for her son to open his eyes.

I hadn’t had anything to do and I couldn’t get him off from my mind so I just thought to write a small story about us.

I have stopped talking to the guy I was previously in relation with. I don’t think I love him now. Yes, I loved him but I’ve heard when you fall in love for the second time it means you are not in love with the first one because if you were, you never have fallen in love for the second time.

‘Love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or a dozen of times in our life, we always face a brand new situation.’

I once read this quote. I liked it but I was unable to understand. I guess I do now. Because I never loved anyone else like I love him and I know now, nor will I love anyone else like this again.

I love him and I will always love him.

I love him for no reasons and I love him for all the reasons.

We never really had a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. And it doesn’t matter if he marries someone else or I marry some other man, we’ll always be together. The sweet-unknown bond, which is between us, will always be there. He’ll always have a piece of my heart.

The love we share is pure and beautiful. He proved to be an angel sent to me by God. And I know he’ll be there beside me in all my hardships.

He is my Soul Mate. My Sarang.

Well now, my fingers are numb of writing and writing. And my hair are scattered. And he’ll be opening his eyes any minute now. He is moving with time intervals. I guess I need to set up myself before he open his eyes.

We will have a celebration too when he’ll be awake. And I am very happy for much of the worst part is over.

I’ve to go.

Yours.


Imprint

Text: Aruha Arif.
Images: Saleha Shahab.
Publication Date: 12-04-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
To all the ones I love and to those who love me.

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