La La by Kim Lenor (ap literature book list txt) 📕

attack and died while right on top of her. Quiet as kept, she's had so many boyfriends and miscarriages from being an addict that I don’t think she really knows who my father is. Sometimes I look in the mirror and suppose that I could be half Italian but grandma was a light bright with silky hair and funny colored eyes so maybe I just got my features from her. I don’t know and it really doesn’t matter who my father is because I always felt that if my father is dead, may he rest in peace but if he is alive and knows anything about me, well as long as I know who I am and obviously can make it without him... fuck him!

Niecee was a good role model for us, she worked two jobs and went out of her way to make sure we were taken care of mentally and physically and she never tried to act like she was our mother, even in my mother's condition Niecee respected the fact that she was our mother. Niecee was no joke though she could go from sweet to maniac in 3.9 seconds, her tempter was out of this world and if anyone disrespected us she would not let it go. As pretty as she is, she would wrap up her hair, throw on some tennis shoes and be ready to go at it with anyone, male or female. There were so many times that she would demand me or Daisha to go out and fight some girls that were calling us out, and losing was not an option and I can count on my fingers the times someone got the best of me or Daisha. She kept weapons everywhere and dared someone to try to break in. I think that Niecee is the reason why I grew up a hot head but to me that was better than being a wimp any day.

Once Daisha and I became teenagers Niecee allowed herself to have a boyfriend and she was at his house most of the time, she said she didn’t put anything past any man so she didn’t really bring him around us, especially for overnight stays. She always went far and beyond in trying to protect us and for most of her life she tried to protect my mother just like I tried to protect my sister Daisha.

Daisha was very different than me, she was quiet and could easily be bossed around. Even though we have different fathers’ people say we look alike except she has dark skin and shorter hair than I do and a little more voluptuous in areas I can only wish I was. On her lazy lounge days, to me she is pinch your cheeks cute, when you look at her you want to pinch her cheeks. However, when she puts some extra effort into herself, she is nothing short of beautiful.
Even though she is the oldest I have always felt like the older sister. She didn’t catch on to things quickly like I did and sometimes I believed it had something to do with Sunny doing drugs while she was pregnant with her. We were in the same grade because she was left behind one year so we were extremely close.

Daisha was very emotional and would cry at the drop of a dime. She thought if she loved my mother enough that she would get off drugs. I often had to stomp across the neighborhood to pull her out a hallway of a crack apartment building waiting on my mother to come out. She would just be sitting on the floor, against the wall, just waiting and crying. I would always yell at her and tell her how dangerous that was but she kept going. One time I went to get her and both Sunny and Daisha were sitting on the floor and Daisha had her head in Sunny’s lap while Sunny was rubbing Daisha’s hair, all while Sunny still had a rubber band tied around her arm from shooting up. She was so high she forgot to take it off before she came out. I snatched Daisha up so fast and yelled at her not follow my mother anymore.

Even though Daisha is a little different, she is not to be taken for granted because she has a hot head inside of her too. She would never ever start a fight but she will surely finish it if she was pushed and pushed and pushed that far. There have been plenty of times where Daisha started off an emotional maniac realizing she was going to have to fight but some time later she would be beating a bitch to a pile of mush. Then other times I couldn’t begin to figure out how or why she would let a person that was bothering her get away with it.

Daisha had an undying need to protect everyone. She first saw the good in people when everyone around us was anything but good. In fact we were surrounded by wolves but she refused to see it so I felt it was my responsibility to keep my sister safe. So while Little Miss Riding Hood Daisha was preparing to bring grandma cookies, I was the one that would have to sneak in and kill the wolf then tell her that grandma moved to a nice retirement community in Florida and that we would visit her soon.

Chapter 3

When I was sixteen, while Daisha was following my mother around trying to save her, I was living my own life and doing my own thing. I started singing as soon as I could talk and from there it came so naturally. People in my family said that I could out-sing my mother effortlessly or that if I didn’t sound better than she did when she was a performer then I at least sounded just like her. People would hire me to sing at their weddings and birthday parties and I was in every talent show at school. Anything that had to do with music, I was there. Up to this point I had never really done anything really serious to pursue a singing career because I really didn’t know where to start. I knew that I wanted to someday be a superstar and everything I did in my life was a superficial effort to reach that goal. I believed the first step was finishing school.

My family was popular in our neighborhood, everyone knew my mother was “that pretty crackhead,” they knew my aunt didn’t play and to stay away from her house, they knew my sister was the nice one that would give you the shirt off her back, literally, and they knew me because I could sing and because Sysco was my man.

Sysco and I had been in love since I was in first
grade and he was in third. Somebody should have beaten my fast little ass because as soon as I saw him on the playground, I thought, mmm his fine Puerto Rican ass is going to be mine. I didn’t know what I was saying at that age, I just thought we were going to hold hands and kiss and he would carry my books or something. Instead he threw rocks at me and pulled my hair. However, we started playing like adults soon enough because when I got in seventh grade, I snuck Sysco in while Niecee was at work and Daisha was gone and we got busy. I learned how to tongue kiss, give oral and take anal all in one afternoon. I’m sure we didn’t do it right but we practiced until we did from that point on and I loved Sysco unconditionally.

All the girls in my neighborhood wanted Sysco and I had to watch my back because they were jealous of me and was always looking to catch me slipping in some way. Over the years I had fought most of them and won so they pretty much stayed away from me but I still had to watch my back. Not only that but Sysco was a big time drug dealer, he had a nice car, was always dressed nice and always had money on him. He said he was just doing that until he got picked up by a record company. He was trying to be a rapper and he was good at it. I couldn’t believe the shit that came out of his mouth off the top of his head. Plus he had that slight accent that made it all the more unique and hot. Right in the middle of his flow he would bust out in Spanish, nobody else in that studio could do that. None of those other wannabe rappers in our neighborhood could get with him so he had a lot of jealous cats plotting and planning against him as well, so he too always had to look over his shoulder.

According to Sysco there was only one person other than his family and me that he could trust and that was his bother Javier. Javier was doing life in prison for murder but Sysco used to joke that Javier had so much clout on the street that even from prison he could still make things happen. He promised Javier that when he made it big he would hire the best attorneys to get him off of death row. He knew that wasn't possible because Javier had viciously murdered a guy that had molested his sister and Javier confessed to doing it, but Sysco loved him so much that he really believed he could save him and was determined to try.

Sysco promised me that once he got a deal that he was going to get us out of there and we were going to live like we were supposed to, like superstars. Of course I would bring my mom, Daisha and Niecee with us and none of us would have to worry about anything anymore. I could taste it and nothing was going to get in the way.

I spent a lot of time at the studio with him and once I started singing on his tracks I was anxious to make my own demo. Prior to Sysco starting his demo, I had no idea about laying tracks in a studio or even where one was. However, Sysco was teaching me everything and the plan was that after we got his demo together then we were going to start on mine.
Most of my music came to me on the spot, right from my heart. I wrote when I could but it was hard trying to focus on writing when I had to look after my sister chasing after my mother, get my school work done and keep Niecee’s house in order while she was working so she could put food on the table for us. Sysco kept telling me that I should drop out of school and focus on my music. I wasn’t trying to hear that because I wanted to get my education and coming up that August I was going to be a senior. I was already embarrassed because I was a little order than everyone else. I was one of those kids whose 5th birthday came before kindergarten so I always felt like people thought I failed a grade or something so being the drop out was not an option.

Sysco always said that he would take care of us. He had the money but he was living the type of life that could take him out at any minute, be it jail or death. I often thought about having to choose between riding with him for life and possibly