The Empty Life by Naomi Anderson (read aloud .TXT) 📕

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Even though there was nothing playing, I still kept headphones in my ears. I wished music was playing, but my iPod had died on the flight back home. They were a good excuse to ignore people who came up to me and tried to talk, I just pretended not to see them. I knew they could see me, it was just a habit for everyone to stare at someone in a uniform. Especially someone who was walking with a noticeable limp and scars covering all over their face. I pushed my way through the crowds and finally made it outside.
“Kelby!” a voice screamed.
I pulled out my headphones and looked around for the person screaming my name.
“Kel!” I saw my twin sister Ada’s hand shoot up in the air, trying to wave me down.
I sighed, it was time to face my insane family. It didn’t feel right though, it didn’t seem real. A part of me was happy to be back home, but another part wished I was dead with the rest of them. It wasn’t fair that I was the one who lived, I didn’t deserve it.
As I got closer to my sister, I could see the smile fading from her face.
“I usually have that effect on people,” I said point blank to Ada.
“I’m sorry...I just...”
“Don’t be sorry, Ada. I’m used to it now.”
“I missed you,” she smiled and held out her arms for a hug.
Instinctively I backed away, “I can’t...”
She nodded understandingly, then smiled, “Let’s go home!”
I followed her into the parking lot and wandered around with her until we came across our car finally. My leg was beginning to hurt more than usual, so I was grateful we could sit down. I closed my eyes and sighed in relief.
“Is it bad?” Ada asked, as she started driving the forty five minutes back home.
“My leg?” I asked.
“Yeah, I guess. I don’t know...everything.”
I hesitated. Talking was one of my least favorite things to do since I was rescued. They tried everything to try and get me to talk about what happened, but it was weird. Some of the things that happened to me, I just didn’t know how to put it in words.
“Yeah,” I replied finally.
The rest of the ride home we were silent. Nothing seemed to have changed much in the past few years, at least not in scenery. I saw a few old friends from high school walking along the street, none of which I was still in contact with. It felt so weird to be going home, without Colin. I still had my family, and for that I was grateful, but I never liked spending much time with them before I was deported, and since the kidnapping, I just liked being alone. I knew my mom was worried sick, I had Skyped with her a few times while I was in the hospital, each of which she cried and begged me to come home. She hadn’t allowed my younger sister, Dakota, to see me during our video chats, because she thought it would be too scary for her to see what I looked like. I didn’t really understand her logic on that one, considering that I would be seeing them both in person, but I didn’t argue.
Finally, Ada pulled into our duplex. Collin and I had moved into one side after high school, and Ada moved into the other side a few years later. She helped me bring my bags up to the steps and then unlocked the door for me with her spare key, but I hesitated to go in.
“Do you need a minute or should I be here with you?” she asked, holding the door for me.
I trudged up the stairs and took a step inside. The smell of pine and apples hit me in the face instantly.
“I...I think I need a minute,” I whispered.
She nodded then set the bags on the floor and left. My eyes began to sting as tears welled up in them, but I blinked them back. I started wandering around the house, like it was all new to me, even though nothing had changed. Ada had been kind enough to keep it looking nice while we were gone. Finally, I made it to the bedroom. Pictures of Colin and I lined the walls. We looked so happy and in love, it had been so long since we were like that. I took them down one by one and set them in a neat pile on my bed. I grabbed a box from the closet and started putting each on in it carefully, as if breaking them would make the memories of the happiness go away, and I didn’t want that. All I wanted was to not be constantly reminded of what I went through, but I knew that wasn’t possible.
My phone rang, distracting me from the sadness that was my new life.
“Hello?” I answered.
“Kelby!” My younger sister shouted excitedly.
“Hey, Dakota.”
“What time are you coming over?” she asked.
I rubbed the back of my head and sat on the edge of my bed, “I can’t make it tonight, but I’ll try to come tomorrow.”
“Oh,” I could hear the disappointment in her voice, “You sure you can’t come tonight?”
“Yeah I’m sure...but I’ll try to be there tomorrow.”
“Okay, I miss you, Kel,” she said quietly.
I paused, “I know. I miss you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Love you!”
“You too,” I said half heartedly, then hung up.
I set my phone next to me. It had been so long since I had seen Dakota, or anyone for that matter. My team and I had been held captive for five months, we had no contact to anyone during that whole time, except for each other. I was deployed when she was eleven, and only got to see her six times in five years. She had turned sixteen the day I was rescued, but I wasn’t able to talk to her for another three weeks after that. I always felt bad, not being able to help my mom raise her. Ada was still there, but it just didn’t feel right.
My dad was killed in combat when Ada and I were twelve, and Dakota was only two. By that time my older brother, Blake was out of the house, and pretty much out of the picture altogether. Mom had to work two shifts at the hospital most of the time, just to afford rent. We got monthly checks from the military because of my dad, but with three kids, it just wasn’t enough.
The doorbell rang, and I slowly limped over to it, knowing that Ada was there. I unlocked it and opened it, then walked back into the kitchen and sat down at the table.
“Hey, how’s it going?” she asked, setting at least five grocery bags on the counter.
I pointed at the bags, “You know Colin isn’t here anymore, right?”
She looked at the ground, then sighed sadly, “It’s just a habit, sorry.”
“It’s okay,” I forgave her, “I’m still not used to it either...”
She started unloading things into the fridge and began making it look like someone actually lived in my house.
“You didn’t answer my question,” she said, staring at me intently, “How’s it going?”
I wanted to reply with a sarcastic joke, like I would have before everything, but I changed, “It sucks.”
She nodded in agreement, “I know Kel, I’m sorry though, I really am.”
“Thanks.”
She finished putting things away, then sat down across from me. She nervously tapped her fingers on the table to a beat that I recognized, but couldn’t figure it out exactly.
“Are you okay?” I asked curiously.
“What happened?” she blurted out.
I was a little taken back by her question, then pointed to the scars on my face, “You mean this?”
She nodded sadly. I knew that she would ask that sooner or later, but truth be told, I didn’t want to answer, or really know how. So many people had asked me that, most of the time I found a way to change the subject, but this was my sister, I couldn’t lie to her.
“Honestly?” I asked.
She nodded again.
After a minute of silence, I finally found the words that I was looking for, “They tried to get me to tell them things...things about the military, and when I wouldn’t, they...well they did this.”
“Why didn’t they....kill you like everyone else?” she asked quietly.
I had asked myself that question so many times, it had become a constant thought. The answer was still unclear to me though. There was no purpose for them to keep me, or let me go but they still did. Even though I didn’t want to admit it, I think they let me go so I would be in pain without Colin and everyone else. It was just more torture.
“I don’t know,” I said, my voice cracking.
“I’m glad they didn’t.”
“I’m not,” I mumbled, then immediately regretted it.
She wrinkled her eyebrows, “What?”
I shook my head, “Nevermind.”
“Okay...” she said skeptically, “What time do you wanna head over to Mom’s?”
“I’m not going.”
“Why not?”
“Look, I just can’t handle it right now, okay? It’s too much!”
She held her hands up in defense, “Okay, okay! Calm down!”
I was starting to get angry, but not at Ada. Everything was so fucked up, I couldn’t even be with my family.
“I’m gonna go to bed...” I said quietly, then got up and went into my bedroom.
It was only eight, but I was pretty exhausted from jet lag, and my pain pills made me drowsy. I pulled out a pair of Colin’s shorts from his dresser and one of his shirts and slipped them on. The bed was already made because of Ada, and I wished I had thanked her, but I could do it later. I slipped under the covers and shut my eyes, trying to fall asleep.
I struggled to try and slip out of the rope tying my wrists together.
“It’s not going to work,” said a man towering above me. His gun sat nicely in his pocket and a baseball bat dangled from his hand. I was worried about what was going to happen next, but I had to stay strong for my team and for my country. The tape covering my mouth was ripped off by him. It felt like a giant slap in the face,