Perfect on Paper by Gillian Harvey (top 20 books to read txt) 📕

I mean, imagine what it feels like to have lots of people questioning whether I can cope with my job simply because of my sex.’

‘Do you know what? I think you’ll survive,’ she said, giving him a nudge. ‘Come on, those two were going to laugh no matter what role you got. It’s just what they do.’

‘I suppose,’ he said, looking a little more heartened and chewing distractedly on a shred of fingernail. ‘It’s just … it’s when you work so hard and have no one take you seriously or say, I dunno, well done or whatever. I feel invisible, Clare.’

‘I can only imagine …’

‘You know, even Hatty was a bit weird today,’ Toby continued, still completely wrapped up in his own crisis.

‘As opposed to every other day, you mean?’

‘Yeah, I mean, she said something a bit odd.’

‘Did she?’

‘Yeah,’ he said, twiddling a well-oiled strand of hair around his finger. ‘You know she put a good word in for me, right? About this job thing.

‘Well, she was talking about my appointment and she told me that she’d had a word with the head honcho about the role.’

‘Yes?’

‘And she kind of looked like she might have been crying or something.’

‘Oh, poor Hatty.’

‘Yeah, I mean I know she was happy for me, but …’

‘Maybe you should talk to her. Maybe something’s up,’ suggested Clare.

‘You think she’d want me to?’

‘I know she would.’

He put his arm around her and gave her a squeeze. ‘Thank you,’ he said.

‘Anyway, well done!’ she said, again. ‘It’s kind of a dream job, isn’t it!’

‘I never thought,’ he said, ‘when I was stuck on regional news … well, I kind of thought maybe that was as good as it would get for me.’

‘Oh, Toby. You were always better than that.’ She caught his eye and as they studied each other’s faces she was relieved to feel a flicker of attraction. The Dan thing was a distraction, she told herself. But this man – despite his obsession with coiffing his hair and donning overpriced designer threads – was still her Toby underneath. The person she’d shared so much with. She couldn’t give up on him just yet.

‘So,’ he said. ‘How shall we celebrate?’ He made a slight shift towards her on the sofa and put a suggestive hand on her knee. She jumped at the unexpected contact.

But just as she was about to lean in for a kiss, debris fell off one of the cushions onto the floor, setting off a chain reaction which resulted in a cup of festering tea being tipped on its side.

At this moment, Alfie lolloped into the room, slinging his kit bag onto the carpet and what was left of the moment was finally broken.

‘Good footie practice?’ Clare asked.

‘Yeah, OK. But my kit was dirty,’ he said, accusingly.

‘Dirty?’

‘Yeah. Muddy.’

‘Oh dear. Well, I wonder why that was?’ she said, feigning incredulity.

‘Not washed,’ he said, glowering at her from under his fringe.

‘Well, never mind!’ she said, hoping that it wasn’t too late to save her son from a life of complete dependence on others to get his shit together. Had he put his kit in the laundry basket, she’d have gladly washed it. Hopefully he’d work that out for himself by next week or he was going to start losing friends.

‘Right,’ he said, looking confused, ‘anyway, what’s for tea?’

‘Alfie!’ she said. ‘For goodness sake!’

‘Yeah,’ Toby said. ‘Have some consideration, Alfie!’

Clare looked at Toby. Had he actually realised how she felt?

‘We don’t just ask mum what’s for tea,’ Toby said, sternly, ‘we say, what’s for tea, please?’ He looked at Clare expectantly.

Once she’d put the chicken in the oven, Clare went up to her daughter’s room. Knocking, she went in, to find Katie at her desk doing some science homework.

‘Hi, love,’ she said. ‘Going OK?’

‘Yeah, thanks.’

‘Dinner won’t be long.’

‘Great.’

‘Katie?’ she said.

‘Yes?’ her daughter replied, with an edge of impatience.

‘Do you talk to Dad?’

‘What do you mean? Of course I do!’

‘No, I mean … talk to him. Tell him stuff … Maybe stuff that you can’t tell me?’

Katie was silent for a moment. ‘Maybe sometimes,’ she said. ‘Recently, you know, when you’ve been out.’

‘Is … what’s going on?’

‘Oh, it’s nothing. I just had a bit of a problem with someone at school, that’s all.’

‘What, bullying?’

‘Sort of.’

‘Do you want me to …’

‘Don’t worry Mum,’ said Katie. ‘Dad gave me some advice and I think it’s going to be OK.’

‘But you know you can always talk to me, right?’

Her daughter shrugged again. ‘It’s no big deal, Mum. Anyway, it’s hard to talk to you in your car, what with Claudia and that. It’s like … I dunno, you listen to her more than you listen to me.’

As she closed the door, Clare wondered whether Toby was actually the only bad listener in the family. Perhaps she had some lessons to learn, too.

Before she had time to think, her phone flashed with Dan’s number.

‘Hello?’

‘All OK?’ He sounded worried.

‘Yeah, don’t worry. I’ve sorted out that final lyric. I’ll send you a copy later so you can have a look.’

There was a moment of silence. ‘Look, what I said … I mean, it’s true. I like you, Clare. But I know … I get that you have a whole life and that, well, nothing can happen.’ Dan said at last.

‘Uh huh,’ she said, feeling her face get hot. So he had been telling her something?

‘I just wanted to say it, you know?’

‘Thank you. And, you know, you too,’ she found herself saying. ‘I mean, if things were different …’

He was silent again for a moment and she felt her heart thundering against her ribs.

‘Dan?’ she said.

‘Right. I’ve just had the producer on and they said the car will be with us by 2 p.m. – is that going to work out?’

‘Yeah, that’s fine. Just … you know. Around the corner from my office if possible.’

‘OK – like a secret agent.’

‘Ha!’

‘You’ll have to get changed in a phone box.’

‘What?’

‘You know, like Clark Kent.’

She snorted. ‘Think I’ll find somewhere a bit less … well, covered