Perfect on Paper by Gillian Harvey (top 20 books to read txt) 📕

‘Good point. And Clare? Sorry if I’ve been pressuring you about this. I realise you’re doing the best you can.’

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Clare felt a bit of a fraud when she left the office at one thirty and Ann had wished her a good afternoon. ‘Have fun,’ she’d said, ‘whatever you’re up to!’

‘Thanks.’

She hated lying to her friend. Although she wasn’t lying as such, but simply neglecting to tell her the truth. There was a difference, right?

The car arrived dead on time outside the corner shop and she dived into it gratefully. The ride was quiet – Dan and the boys had been picked up separately, so she was able to sit and collect her thoughts.

She was surprised at the enormity of the TV studio, but was eventually shown to the changing room where Nadia met her to help her with her outfit. Now, sitting with the troupe of fidgeting boys, plus Nadia and Dan, in some sort of green room she felt as if she might be sick at any minute.

She tugged at her silver top. ‘I look ridiculous,’ she said. ‘Are you sure this suits me?’

‘You look great,’ Dan said, catching her eye. She’d never noticed how intense his gaze could be and found herself going red.

‘Thank you. It’s … it’s a bit different from my usual style.’

‘Seriously, take it from me,’ he said, ‘you’re a MILF.’

‘A MILF?’

‘Dan!’ Nadia said, sharply.

‘You know,’ he continued, ‘mother I’d like to … Oh, well, you know. I just mean you’re going to drive the watching dads wild.’

‘Good save,’ she said, giving him a nudge.

‘Thanks,’ he said, grinning and wiping the back of his hand across his forehead in a ‘phew’ motion.

‘And you don’t think anyone will recognise me?’ Clare pulled at the ends of the very realistic wig which Nadia had found for her.

‘Not once you get your shades on. Remember, nobody’s going to expect it, are they? Clare the solicitor rapping on TV,’ Nadia smiled.

‘No, that’s true.’

There was still ten minutes before they’d be going through. And the rehearsal had gone well. She’d even noticed Pete – the show’s brand-new presenter – nodding his head to the beat.

The dancing had got easier, too. She’d become fitter over the course of the rehearsals, felt her body move more easily. She’d never really been a natural dancer, but she reckoned she could just about pull it off.

For a moment, she wondered whether she ought to just come out – to admit who she was, rather than the mysterious character she’d invented for herself. Be proud of it.

But then she thought about her day job. The serious office atmosphere. Corporate sexiness, whatever that was.

It was better to remain under the radar for now, at least.

‘Are you sure?’ Dan said, suddenly, as if reading her thoughts.

‘Sure?’

‘Yeah, about the wig. I mean it looks good, but I just thought, well, Eezee Troupe, we’re about keepin’ it real …’

This again?

‘Look, Dan. I get it,’ she said. ‘I get that you want to give the act the best chance. That you want to keep things real,’ – in retrospect, it probably wasn’t a good idea to use her fingers for air quotes at this point – ‘but I have a job. A boss. A new client who’s pretty high profile.’

‘I know but …’

‘This isn’t my life. This isn’t going to be my life. I get that it’s your chance. I get that we’ve kind of been stuck together in this weird situation, but after the show, the competition, Martha B. is probably going to disappear.’

‘Really?’ he seemed surprised. Surely he had known this wasn’t for ever?

‘Yeah. Look as soon as Eezee Troupe have an audience, a following, they won’t need me any more. I’m just … well, something that makes the act more noticeable I suppose. I’m not the talent. Not really. I know you said I’m good … and I know I can hold a beat a bit, but when it comes down to it, I’m a gimmick. People get bored of gimmicks.’

‘But …’

‘And I wouldn’t be able to show my face at work after rapping on live TV. Nobody would take me seriously again.’

‘What about the women?’ he said. ‘They don’t think you’re a gimmick.’

‘Women?’

‘Yeah. All the women who started the hashtag stuff. Women are starting to challenge their bosses, ask for pay rises. There was an article in the news about a woman who’s divorcing her husband because of you.’

‘Divorcing?’

‘No, no, it’s a good thing. He was a right bastard by the sound of it.’

‘Right.’ She still wasn’t sure if she wanted to be responsible for breaking up a marriage. ‘I don’t see what this has got to do with my wearing a wig though.’

‘The whole rap thing – your poem, whatever – you’ve encouraged them to be honest. You’ve got women talking about how they feel. My mum thinks you’re amazing!’

‘That’s nice, but …’

‘We all think you’re amazing. And it kind of seems wrong if you don’t have the courage to be yourself; to stand up on that stage and own it, you know?’

‘Dan, I just can’t. I get it, but I just can’t.’

‘OK,’ he nodded. ‘But just know I’m not going to let you quit without a fight!’

Clare smiled weakly. She was risking a lot by being involved in this. Toby was already suspicious about her afternoon out ‘shopping with the girls’. And although he didn’t say anything, Nigel had seemed a little edgy about her referring any queries from Camberwaddle to Will this afternoon. ‘I’ll think about it,’ she said at last.

‘Thanks,’ Dan said. ‘Thanks, Clare.’

‘Hey, don’t reveal my secret identity,’ she laughed, poking him in the ribs.

‘I won’t if you don’t.’

When the runner came and led them to their positions on a small stage area across from the main presenters, she felt for a moment as if this was something that was happening to someone else, not her. It was weird seeing the set of a show she watched every now and then in the flesh – it looked messy