A Misfits Diary "This Girl" by Shelz Bet (ebook reader macos txt) 📕

Creating " This Girl"

I woke up with that drag sort i don't want to get out of bed feeling. To top it all off my bags were at door making me more pissed than usual on my miserable Monday bitch mode attitude. Did Steven actually think took his money that mysteriously went missing. I mean nobody's and angel but i at least thought my moral goodness and the fact that we knew each other a long time made him think otherwise but apparently no one was to be trusted in his eyes. I was offended at first but then it hit me i was completely innocent i could careless because the guilt wasn't on my shoulders. So i smiled to myself, i was going home tonight anyway. I missed my soft warm bed and my spacious room. Our little commune at Reba's place was nice but too much time with everyone made me crave my own space. I'd cling to my room for the next 2 weeks while i still had because at the end of this 2 week period we'd be moving into a new house. Compared to the house we currently lived in, we referring to my mom, gran, and little sister, this house was a little bit of a downgrade. My room would be smaller and the bathrooms weren't as nice “bleh". 

And then i got to work. Monday morning and i was still ranting about my pay that was sort on Friday. The Witch that should be spelled with a capital "B" of course found a way to make life more difficult for me as usual. I really shouldn't have been surprised last Friday when half my pay was missing, of course she would wait until the week i missed work because of a sprained ankle to change the sick benefits policy. Just so i had to drag my ass all the way to the Social Security office to obtain the remainder of my paycheck. I needed this job so unfortunately i had to bite my tongue and put up her immature behavior. Thank God this was only temporary until i could find something better because everything about this place pestered my nerves on a daily basis.

For God sakes i wanted to be a singer or musician or writer. I know my life was much more than just a crappy minimum waged call center agent. I may not have a degree but trust me i happened to be much smarter than some of those nitwits that ended up with government jobs, with all those benefits. I am determined to make myself a legend, more than these trite everyday twenty years around here, Since i would be twenty in a couple months. I would prove that "This Girl", would prove to be superior compared to "those girls" that followed. Yes im referring to my work and current relationship status, the none existent one. He broke up with me. He referring to my ex Rob and i finally decided that  i wouldn’t try to it  figure out anymore, because it was his loss anyway.  Plus his dick was small anyway and who would he date anyway trying to maintain his virgin status. I only gave him Bj's, some dumb inconsiderate slut would break his heart and he would regret leaving me like all my exes do. I would not chase i would just replace him. I would set my own destiny because i was no longer that calm meek thing i use to be i had created "this girl".

 

Real Friends and what i really needed

 

So yesterday ended pretty crappy, but you might have guessed that because it was fairly obvious. Who would have thought that my own friend would accuse me stealing? That was some stellar, serious, stupid shit, in my opinion. It took something like this for me to isolate my thoughts and pin point my friends, who really were my friends and what they actually thought of me. A friend wasn’t really a friend if they could smile in front of your face and act like complete assholes behind your back. I may be a total bitch when I want to be, but I cried last night because I thought that he thought much more highly of me. Instead he just highly suspected me.  This would be a rain on anyone’s parade, especially mine.

As I got home I just ignore the thoughts of Steven and his ridiculous accusation. I took a long warm shower, and trust it was needed. After ten months of not getting it in I had to do something to help my burning urge to grab a random guy and throw him down in bed. Of course i wouldn’t literally do that, I had standards. I wouldn’t say I’m shallow but looks were kind of important along with personality, intelligence, ambition and of course recently added to list size. Size wasn’t really an issue when I was in high school and still a virgin. Recently that has changed because once you experience a real orgasm there’s really is no going back.  He may be sweet and all but if you’re not satisfied, what are you really going to do. You’ll be forced to either become the teacher and run the risk of him thinking you are a bit skanky or fake orgasms the rest of your life. Neither of those options seemed fitting for me.

After my long shower I went in my bed chatted for a little bit. My old friend bombarding me with complements because I was single. Sure he was very nice to talk to but he simply wasn’t my type. I would never see him as anything more than a friend, God bless his little heart all his effort was noted. Then I went to sleep and magically my mom woke me up earlier than I wanted to see the light of day, no shocker there. None the less I woke up and started packing some of the stuff in my room. I had two weeks, but every moment counted because we had a lot of shit. My weekend was already occupied anyway I would be four hours away from home visiting my dad, Rick; Sunday was Father’s Day anyway. Since I was rebuilding a relationship with my dad he would be happy I was visiting. We had not spoken for two years and I decided to break that barrier two weeks ago. My mom actually inspired me to she said that if he died I should live with no regret.  This was exactly what I needed to do and I felt great that I did.

As work of course Miss Witch would be late with the letter I needed to get my money, she was an inch short of provoking my will to keep from telling her off. Like it took an entire 24 hours to right a God Damn letter and print it. How much stupider could she be. I would just have to suck it up and put on a fake smile as I secretly plot against her. Story of my life, talk about drama, all “This girl” really needed was a hug  a friend and maybe some good sex too.

Red Lobster and Issues

 

Five minutes in the Sun and I looked like a Lobster, Seafood anyone?? Miss Witch already took a day and a half with the god damn letter and them she made mistakes on the return forms too. This is what happens when you obtain a managerial position for sleeping with the boss. Pure inconsistency, the Woman was as dumb as rocks, on top of not knowing how to doing the job right, she couldn’t spell and her grammar was way off.  My five year old sister Jenna was more inclined with the English language than she was. This was why I was sun burnt I spent two hours up and down to the Beneficiary office because of her technical errors. On the bright side that made two hours off from actual work. I hated taking calls all day, ignorant people I would rather tell off for being rude to me over the phone.

Then I went home with Letty, my mom.  Of course Jenna’s dad was there visiting her. He was a cock bastard that thinks he is the shit. The truth of the matter he wasn’t attractive, he wouldn’t be anything without my mom, He was a broke ass dead beat dad and to top it all off he had a fucked up attitude. As soon as I saw him I knew it would be night alone locked in my room, just so I could avoid confrontation with the imbecile.  I always ignored his existence anyway unless it was forced upon to actually speak to him for any other reason than biding the time of day.

After I took a shower, I was just talking to Conner and then the internet went out. Well not out but it wasn’t connecting to anything, I tried trouble shooting, resetting my Wi-Fi router nothing worked. “Dumb ass internet provider”, was all I could utter. Every few days they had issues. Why they hell did I pay the internet for crappy ass internet.  What was I supposed to do I couldn’t  load my shows that I usually stream , I couldn’t talk to Conner (because he lived hundreds of miles away) , and there was nothing I could actually do about it. So I plummeted into my bed, laid there and stared at the ceiling for a while.  This night was Pathetic; I would have probably been with my friends if Steven hadn’t done what he did.  So I got up and found some batteries for my remote control and turn to the old trusty TV for some entertainment, at least that wouldn’t disappoint me.

So I watched TV until I fell asleep, I was watching chopped. Like I was I really watching food shows, the last thing I needed to be watching, I needed to go back on my diet and workout. I was procrastinating, it was hard for me I always struggled with my weight, but this year I vow to change that.  I would get serious and get my dream body or at least start, that meant eating healthy and not missing workouts, rain or shine. So anyway my