Why We Flop In Love by Santosh Jha (best story books to read .txt) 📕

handlers of our emotions, especially the emotion of love as it is an expression of our wellness poise.

Wellness is a function of wider poise of person and personality, which includes factors not only cognitive but also emotional. Wellness is the core emotion, the guiding energy of all pursuits of life. Love is the ‘powerful media’ of the larger emotion of wellness. Nothing is worth a penny, if it does not anyway enhance our overall wellness-quotient. Love as a ‘media’, as a beautiful and fruitful energy of wellness fails, if we handle it badly and if we are in unprepared state of mind consciousness.

A person is supposed to be in complete wellness when there is a balance, poise and perfect homeostasis, between the cognitive factors such as income, wealth, comfort, leisure and health as well as emotional factors such as trust, security, integration with family-friends-colleagues, connectivity, stability, sense of desirability and spiritual purpose, etc.

Love, like wellness is also not a singular and isolated emotion. It is a function of so many cognitive and emotional factors. Often, we have a tendency to see and accept only partial aspect of love and wellness. In addition, the two elements may culturally be referred as separate elements but are essentially two sides of the same coin of life. Love is the core prerequisite of larger wellness and wellness alone ensures the onset of the rainbowish colors of love and intimacy. It is our design.

Somehow, it is always easy to ‘show off’ something, hard to actually have them. Love, like wellness can be flamboyantly exhibitionist; it often is. However, to actually have wellness and love is tough and not given to showmanship or one-upmanship.

Deodorant makes one look ‘fresh’, he or she may not have taken bath for days. Exhibitionism is ‘virtual’ realism only. Real wellness, like real love is enduring and seldom tangibly demonstrative. Love, like wellness is intangible realism, not amenable for tantrums of tangibility.

Both love and wellness are emotions needing sincere and disciplined internalization. That is why; we have to be in ‘receptive-mode’ consciousness, the moment we are in love. True love shall never ever be friends with ‘reactive-mode’ consciousness. All wellness mechanisms need to be receptively taken in by a conscious mind and then absorbed and internalized deeply to make it a habit of the sub-consciousness.

We all have experienced it that prayers are just catalytic tools of the internalization of deeper faith in God. Prayers need to be internalized so that God becomes a part of our subconscious. The consciousness needs churches and temples, as well as prayers and other rituals only until faith is internalized.

Once love and wellness become part of our subconscious, we shall need no conscious and external expression of them as love and wellness shall become our instinctive habit. All other intangibles, like happiness and prosperity are internalized the same way.

That is why, love, like wellness needs loads of patient and persevered preparedness. This is however, one part of love. The second part is ensuring that your own readiness has a ‘match’ in the person, whom you make the ‘centre’ of your love expressions. This special someone needs to be in the same higher consciousness as you to have the fruition and utility of love.

The person, you love, has to be in perfect and profound wellness poise, otherwise, he or she shall never be in a consciousness of complete and perfect assimilation and integration, which love’s mutuality shall demand.

We have talked about how love is an expression of one’s ‘self’, seeking extension of its wellness homeostasis in the larger milieu. The person you love is not some other subject or object you think you hold dear and like. The fact is – the person you love is essentially the image of your own subject, your own self or consciousness, seeking another medium than your own body-mind to extend its domain. This is the expression of your intangible homeostasis need. It is therefore only natural that he or she, whom you love has to be a willing and highly navigable media, for easy and smooth assimilation into your ‘self-image’.

When two people in love are two brilliant, settled, poised, navigable, compassionately accommodative and malleable ‘media’, it shall be smooth and systemic assimilation of the two ‘selfs’ and two shall finally evolve to become one singular and symmetrical consciousness. This is the true success of love.

Only two higher consciousnesses can merge and melt into one consciousness. When this merger and assimilation happens, the two separate and exclusive ‘wellness needs’ become one singular and larger homeostasis. This ‘homeostatic love’ can never fail, it shall be an infinite success symmetry.

The onus of all these beautiful processes and evolution for the ultimate success of the ‘venture of love’ is on you. It is first your own preparedness, your own readiness for the start of the ‘venture’. It is also your responsibility to ensure that your special someone is also in the same state of readiness.

Always remember, success of any venture depends first on your ‘product’. Secondly, your product may be brilliant and of high value but no utility and value is universal. Only those shall buy and appreciate your product who have the similar need and taste for your product. It is therefore a venture owner’s onus to ensure both – the quality and sincerity of product as well as that of the target customer.

Never ever take love casually. You already know it, how love is so intrinsically and cardinally associated with your wellness poise. Love’s success can make your life. However, if love flops, it has a calamitous impact on you as it has the fatal effect of threatening your wellness homeostasis, which is essentially your larger sense of survival.

The person you once loved, unconsciously becomes part of your ‘self’. Even if you consciously choose to dump him or her out of your life and memory; your subconscious mind can never do it. Because; he or she becomes an ingrained elemental need of your socio-biological and psychological homeostasis. A flopped love has calamitous impact on your long-term wellness as it hugely unsettles your overall homeostasis. That is why, you have to be in a state of total and perfect readiness before you venture out for love.

**

Love Wisdom – 5

The body is both a canvas and paintbrush. It is a mystical mechanism of creating ‘paintings’ within mind-consciousness. The template it paints is truly magical and intangibly mystical. Love creates master as well as masterpieces within.

**

Cyclicality Of Love’s Dualism

This whole conundrum is all about something, which is probably the best faculty available with humans or, one can even say that this is the chief trouble for not only the humanity but all living and non-living entities in the cosmos.

This consciousness is such a powerful thing that there are only extremes associated with it – it is either the best thing or the worst. This extreme makes conflict of ideas. Many believe, as it is something so great, it must have been given by God to humanity. Others, who believe it is something of a huge trouble, are prompt to accept that such a thing could only be a slow and prolonged growth through various stages of the stupid energy of evolution.

Let us not be embroiled in this debate.

The far better and enjoyable option is to understand and relish the art and science of ‘consciousness’ in an integrative, assimilative and holistic way. Who gave us this consciousness, God or evolution, hardly matters. What matters is what and how we all do with it and about it. This consciousness has made many of our great ancestors create such wisdom for us that if we understand and use them in a way that have been prescribed, we all can find true joy and satisfaction and can make this world a better place to live.

We all know; there is wider acceptance about the dualistic nature of the consciousness. Thousands of years back, the early wisdom in ancient religious books also admit the dualism of consciousness. The prescription in almost all religion has been to lead the consciousness from this dualism to an exalted position of non-dualism. Later wisdoms as philosophy and psychology also speak of the same. The issues of dualism and non-dualism are however very poorly understood notions, as the debate about consciousness rages on and the core questions are still unanswered.

Try to understand it and to be able to do so, we do not have a better tool than Love! Love is something so intrinsic that every human being experiences it. It is a primary emotion that is now considered to be a wired realism for humanity. Yet, the best and most exalted form of love is an evolved and nurtured feeling. That is why; Love is the best tool to understand the core and cardinal idea of dualism and non-dualism. Divinity also provides us similar tools to unravel this non-dualism to us; however, love is definitely easier option. Those who can understand the non-dualism through love, can easily extend this idea to divinity.

Love and its dynamics are easy tools to understand how consciousness travels in different dimensions and how it keeps evolving to newer and higher planes in a typical wave-particle dualism of the cherished quantum consciousness.

We all are born with a consciousness, which looks like a non-dualistic consciousness as we are just and singularly only and purely ‘instinctive’. A newborn has a singular consciousness of pure ‘nature’ as the forces of ‘nurture’ are still not fully operative on the newly born. This state is not static as gradually, nurture unleashes its forces and the growing up baby has dualistic consciousness.

The nature and nurture cyclicality makes dualism of consciousness happen. The newborn is nothing but a consciousness of love. The newborn with non-dualistic consciousness is somehow only love but this is not the non-dualism, which wisdom of all genres accepts as something pure and desirable!

The child grows and finally imbibes all those ideas and emotions that nurture of a particular time-space linearity has to offer. The dualism gets more defined and the requirements and challenge of acquiring a non-dualistic consciousness gets more and more difficult and conflicting. The grown up child, well in his or her teens and youth still loves and feels far more energetic, keen and passionate for giving and getting love. It is because, his or her ‘self-image’ grows.

However, this is the worst time-space situation for him or her to be able to do so as his or her love is in the troubled realm of stark dualism. This dualism makes love more intense but more instable and conflicting too. This love has to reach a stage of non-dualism, which is now a tough ask as the grown up man or woman cannot revert to the intrinsic and singular non-dualistic love of a newborn. This is because, the forces of nature have given space to nurture in a big way and the person, torn between the two forces of nature and nurture is a classical case of a dualistic consciousness, which the ancient wisdom calls as maya.

The maya is all about the dualism of consciousness, the unsure and fluctuating domain of conflicting consciousness torn between the powerful forces of nature and nurture. The person in the midst of the dynamics of maya has a dualistic consciousness, which makes him, or her see myriads of realism and still he or she is not sure, which is the realism he or she should accept as singular and right one. We have talked in details about maya in the title named ‘Maya And Leela: Utility In Life’s Futility’.

The ancient wisdom says, sooner the person comes out of the dualism into the newly evolved and exalted position and situation of non-dualism, better off he or she is. The prescription in ancient wisdom is, “Blessed is he who came into being before he came into being.” This very prescription speaks of two core and cardinal processes of the evolution of consciousness.

First, it says, there are two stages of ‘coming