Why We Flop In Love by Santosh Jha (best story books to read .txt) 📕

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Why We Flop In Love

By Santosh Jha

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Copyright 2013 Santosh Jha

(Revised & Updated 2017)

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License Notes

Thank you for downloading this free ebook. Although this is a free book, it remains the copyrighted property of the author, and may not be reproduced, copied and distributed for commercial or non-commercial purposes. Thanks for your support.

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Preface:

Love, as we all know is the most cardinal, critical and concomitant emotion of our conscious and subconscious being. Such is the mystically munificent joy and satisfaction of the ubiquitous utility of love that we all wish to be in perpetuity and propensity of this divine endowment. However, the marvel of love lands many of us on the wrong side of love. As is true with most realities of humanity, there are more flops than successes in love.

We shall talk in details about how we can understand the mechanism and processes of love to avoid being a flop and to ensure sure successes. However, before we begin to do that, we need to accept something important, which shall create the ease of navigation to our understanding of love processes and mechanisms. We are fortunate to live in the new millennium, which has heralded a very facilitative new thinking. It was brewing up for over two decades but now as we moved into 21st century; we have the wisdom to answer many questions of wellness in a completely new light. The answers have come up as there has been a change in perception about the three core notions, essential for wellness and problem solutions.

These three notions are called 3Cs – Cognition, Consciousness and Causality. The new thinking offers new and scientifically appropriate perceptions about the three notions and helps humanity in understanding them in a new light. This is a huge boost for confidence required for empowerment and wellness.

Every new thing is received with skepticism. It is only natural. Most of us have a narcissistic affection towards what we think as right and just. No wisdom, no science, not even divinity are effective enough to open the closed doors of mind of a person. It is only a personal desire and disposition.

However, millions of people globally are benefitting by this new thinking and new perceptions about the 3Cs. This new thinking emerges out of the experience and knowledge of humanity for the last millions of years.

In the past, usually, all critical issues of life and living were addressed either with extreme ‘scientific positivism’ or with dogmatic ‘religious reductionism’. The right answers for wellness therefore looked elusive for humanity, be it relationships, faith or consciousness.

A ‘new thinking’ believes; answers are in the integrative and assimilative domain as both wisdoms have unbelievable commonality. Moreover, answers cannot be prescriptive but evolve within when one undergoes holistic option building. The new thinking is all about an assimilative and integrative approach and technique, drawing holistic resources from both traditional as well as modern wisdoms.

In this eBook, while dealing with love and its mechanism, this new thinking of 3Cs and overall holism of contemporary wisdom has been the guiding light. I humbly invite you to this new approach, which at times may not seem mainstream and populist but surely can lead to better acceptance of all shades of realism of love.

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Table of Contents

Being The Master of Mechanism

A Progression Of Dualisms

Dualism And Non-Dualism of Love

The Higher Consciousness of Love

Cyclicality Of Love’s Dualism

Delving Deep Into ‘Whys’ And ‘Hows’ of Love

Of God’s Sons And Daughters!

As She Undoes It, You Focus On Doings

The ‘Mystery’ Of Being A Woman

Men Are Men, They Must Lead The Change

Cyclicality Of Causality Of Wellness

Accept My Gratitude

About The Author

Other Titles By The Author

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Love Wisdom – 1

The sub-conscious mind is a stupid audience; applauding even the quirkiest of performances by our ‘conscious mind’, at the chaotic arena of life; especially in love. People, as ‘theatre’ of all joys and pains need to be wary of the ‘spectator-frenzy’, coaxing you to write ‘scandalous-scripts’ of life-dramas. Guard against passion, especially, when you are in love’s compassion.

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Being The Master of Mechanism

It is a tragic but true reality – seven out of eight business ventures fail. Success has never been a rule in the long history of all ventures of humanity. Had it been, the world we have today would look drastically different. The good part however is, people have always learnt from their mistakes and evolved towards the goal of winning and success.

In love however, it seems, the real success rate is even worse, especially in the long run. Moreover, the worst part of love is – people are so unwilling to assess and analyze what led to the failure and are almost too finicky about learning from their mistakes – more inclined to shift the blame on others.

That is probably why; love remains the most unsuccessful venture of humanity.

Is it profanity and calamitous to relate ‘love’ with a ‘venture’ in economic terms? No doubt, it sounds very unpleasant but the fact remains that everyone looks for ‘success’ in love and anything, which is defined in terms of ‘success and failure’ or ‘hit and flop’, for its utility and fruition, needs to be accepted as ‘venture’! Especially, when, the success and failure is defined more in terms of cultural-benchmarks.

Let us make this all very simple. You buy petrol and fill the tank of your car. Do you expect that this petrol would run your car smoothly? Yes, we all do. However, your car does not start, or may be it does run but gives you a poor mileage and troubled driving. Do you blame petrol for it?

The simple fact is – the energy, which fuels a venture is largely neutral. It is the brilliance and efficacy of the system or mechanism, which uses this fuel energy, is decisive in the success of the entire venture.

Love only fuels our lives and it is so crucial for the start of the journey, the car – our lives, takes us on. However, whether we succeed or fail depends largely on the efficacy and brilliance of the car, an individual, not on the fuel. Of course, the fuel too shall trouble the car, if it has adulteration or in any other ways, fuel quality is dubious. The energy must always remain pure and pious. The sad part is, only we adulterate this pure and naturally available energy fuel of love!

Love is not a venture and it cannot fail or succeed. It is the catalyst in the venture. However, love fuels the mechanism of an individual and the fact remains that even if this fuel is pure and in its best form, the success of the process, it energizes shall depend on the individual’s quality and preparedness.

That is why, it is truly crucial, like in a business venture that we all first assess and analyze whether we are fully ready for venturing into a ‘process’ or ‘journey’, using the precious and pure energy fuel of love. All business needs complex pre-launch preparations and risk-analyses of multidimensional factors before they are finally launched in the troubled ocean called market.

Love, however is usually launched without any preparations. There is a clichéd that love is not made to happen, rather it happens. This somehow justifies the non-preparedness in love. However, when the associated troubles happen in love, we never repeat the clichéd that it happened and not made to happen. We always say, he or she made it all happen to me. Or, this or that set of things made it happen.

There is also this preposterous presumption that everyone born, automatically qualifies for two things – love and death! This hypothesis is the basic cause of most failures in love as well as death. Like love, we all need to be in ultimate and absolute ‘readiness’ to accept death, when it comes. However, very few greats actually prepare and are ready for the inevitability of death. Similar is the fate of we all in love. The inevitability of love accosts us and we are never prepared for it, let alone the state of readiness!

When something starts with a hypothesis that ‘what we want is what we should automatically get’, then the script for the failure is readied. Nothing qualifies for automatic qualification as a birthright in modern contemporary cultural milieu of humanity. A child born was once considered to have a birthright over his or her mother’s milk, as it is still in animal world. However, in modern world, governments all over the globe spend millions on advertising to appeal to all mothers that they should breastfeed their newborn. Why!

This metaphor of love like a business venture helps understand the intricacies of the mechanism of success or failure in love. Suppose, I have a marvelous product and after lots of research and value-addition into it, I launched it in the market. The trial had showed great response from sample customers, still my venture failed. There could be many reasons for my failure. May be, because my initial capital was small, I did not spend enough on reaching the information about my product to target customers. May be, my pricing was nasty. May be, the brand association of my product was not in sync with the larger utility perception of the customers. Or may be, everything else was right but the market sentiments were not conducive for new product. There is plethora of reasons and possibilities, which can make a business go awry.

The fact remains that success is never a function of singular entity. I may be good, but it does not always translate me and my efforts into success. There shall always remain in force multidimensional and probabilistic factors in the milieu, which shall be far more decisive for success. I cannot anyway discount them. My preparedness for success always has to count for all these factors and my success would depend on how skillfully I manage all the odds to breathe enough to have my imprint in the vast and tumultuous ocean of humanity.

One thing always has to be understood and accepted. If I create something, which has immense utility and fruition for me and some people around me, I shall have an instinctive tendency to give and share it with the entire world. There is then no success or failure involved in it. I shall offer it to anyone. If he or she takes it, it makes me happy. If they do not, or rather dislike it, I have no reason to be sad and put off. It is because, I am too happy with my own attainment of utility and even if it could not prove the same for others, it does not change my own sense of utility.

However, if I share it with an expectation that as this thing has proved of great utility for me, others must also accept it in the same sentiment and in return, they should thank, praise or pay me back, then I am exposing me to the travails of business venture.

Love is such a beautifully precious positioning of consciousness. We all must find and remain perpetually in the consciousness of absolute love and compassion. This pure and precious energy of love has loads of personal and subjective utility. It has immense utility and fruition for almost all, but in individual capacity. Love always has much larger utility and fruition for yourself and your own wellness; than it has in the domain of societal exchanges.

However, we all are social beings and this love we instinctively need to share with all, especially with someone very ‘special and exclusive’. This lands love in the domain of ‘market’, from the easy domain