Lin McLean by Owen Wister (howl and other poems .TXT) 📕

quiet leaves entered the mountains where the rock chimneys narrowed to a gateway, a citadel of shafts and turrets, crimson and gold above the filmy emerald of the trees. Through there the road went up from the cottonwoods into the cool quaking asps and pines, and so across the range and away to Separ. Along the ridge-pole of the new stable, two hundred yards down-stream, sat McLean’s turkeys, and cocks and hens walked in front of him here by his cabin and fenced garden. Slow smoke rose from the cabin’s chimney into the air, in which were no sounds but the running water and the afternoon chirp of birds. Amid this framework of a home the cow-puncher sat, lonely, inattentive, polishing the treasured weapon as if it were not already long clean. His target stood some twenty steps in front of him—a small cottonwood-tree, its trunk chipped and honeycombed with bullets which he had fired into it each day for memory’s sake. Presently he lifted the pistol and looked at its name—the word “Neighbor” engraved upon it.

“I wonder,” said he, aloud, “if she keeps the rust off mine?” Then he lifted it slowly to his lips and kissed the word “Neighbor.”

The clank of wheels sounded on the road, and he put the pistol quickly down. Dreaminess vanished from his face. He looked around alertly, but no one had seen him. The clanking was still among the trees a little distance up Box Elder. It approached deliberately, while he watched for the vehicle to emerge upon the open where his cabin stood; and then they came, a man and a woman. At sight of her Mr. McLean half rose, but sat down again. Neither of them had noticed him, sitting as they were in silence and the drowsiness of a long drive. The man was weak-faced, with good looks sallowed by dissipation, and a vanquished glance of the eye. As the woman had stood on the platform at Separ, so she sat now, upright, bold, and massive. The brag of past beauty was a habit settled upon her stolid features. Both sat inattentive to each other and to everything around them. The wheels turned slowly and with a dry, dead noise, the reins bellied loosely to the shafts, the horse’s head hung low. So they drew close. Then the man saw McLean, and color came into his face and went away.

“Good-evening,” said he, clearing his throat. “We heard you was in cow-camp.”

The cow-puncher noted how he tried to smile, and a freakish change crossed his own countenance. He nodded slightly, and stretched his legs out as he sat.

“You look natural,” said the woman, familiarly.

“Seem to be fixed nice here,” continued the man. “Hadn’t heard of it. Well, we’ll be going along. Glad to have seen you.”

“Your wheel wants greasing,” said McLean, briefly, his eye upon the man.

“Can’t stop. I expect she’ll last to Drybone. Good-evening.”

“Stay to supper,” said McLean, always seated on his chair.

“Can’t stop, thank you. I expect we can last to Drybone.” He twitched the reins.

McLean levelled a pistol at a chicken, and knocked off its head. “Better stay to supper,” he suggested, very distinctly.

“It’s business, I tell you. I’ve got to catch Governor Barker before he—”

The pistol cracked, and a second chicken shuffled in the dust. “Better stay to supper,” drawled McLean.

The man looked up at his wife.

“So yus need me!” she broke out. “Ain’t got heart enough in yer played-out body to stand up to a man. We’ll eat here. Get down.”

The husband stepped to the ground. “I didn’t suppose you’d want—”

“Ho! want? What’s Lin, or you, or anything to me? Help me out.”

Both men came forward. She descended, leaning heavily upon each, her blue staring eyes fixed upon the cow-puncher.

“No, yus ain’t changed,” she said. “Same in your looks and same in your actions. Was you expecting you could scare me, you, Lin McLean?”

“I just wanted chickens for supper,” said he.

Mrs. Lusk gave a hard high laugh. “I’ll eat ‘em. It’s not I that cares. As for—” She stopped. Her eye had fallen upon the pistol and the name “Neighbor.” “As for you,” she continued to Mr. Lusk, “don’t you be standing dumb same as the horse.”

“Better take him to the stable, Lusk,” said McLean.

He picked the chickens up, showed the woman to the best chair in his room, and went into his kitchen to cook supper for three. He gave his guests no further attention, nor did either of them come in where he was, nor did the husband rejoin the wife. He walked slowly up and down in the air, and she sat by herself in the room. Lin’s steps as he made ready round the stove and table, and Lusk’s slow tread out in the setting sunlight, were the only sounds about the cabin. When the host looked into the door of the next room to announce that his meal was served, the woman sat in her chair no longer, but stood with her back to him by a shelf. She gave a slight start at his summons, and replaced something. He saw that she had been examining “Neighbor,” and his face hardened suddenly to fierceness as he looked at her; but he repeated quietly that she had better come in. Thus did the three sit down to their meal. Occasionally a word about handing some dish fell from one or other of them, but nothing more, until Lusk took out his watch and mentioned the hour.

“Yu’ve not ate especially hearty,” said Lin, resting his arms upon the table.

“I’m going,” asserted Lusk. “Governor Barker may start out. I’ve got my interests to look after.”

“Why, sure,” said Lin. “I can’t hope you’ll waste all your time on just me.”

Lusk rose and looked at his wife. “It’ll be ten now before we get to Drybone,” said he. And he went down to the stable.

The woman sat still, pressing the crumbs of her bread. “I know you seen me,” she said, without looking at him.

“Saw you when?”

“I knowed it. And I seen how you looked at me.” She sat twisting and pressing the crumb. Sometimes it was round, sometimes it was a cube, now and then she flattened it to a disk. Mr. McLean seemed to have nothing that he wished to reply.

“If you claim that pistol is yourn,” she said next, “I’ll tell you I know better. If you ask me whose should it be if not yourn, I would not have to guess the name. She has talked to me, and me to her.”

She was still looking away from him at the bread-crumb, or she could have seen that McLean’s hand was trembling as he watched her leaning on his arms.

“Oh yes, she was willing to talk to me!” The woman uttered another sudden laugh. “I knowed about her—all. Things get heard of in this world. Did not all about you and me come to her knowledge in its own good time, and it done and gone how many years? My, my, my!” Her voice grew slow and absent. She stopped for a moment, and then more rapidly resumed: “It had travelled around about you and her like it always will travel. It was known how you had asked her, and how she had told you she would have you, and then told you she would not when she learned about you and me. Folks that knowed yus and folks that never seen yus in their lives had to have their word about her facing you down you had another wife, though she knowed the truth about me being married to Lusk and him livin’ the day you married me, and ten and twenty marriages could not have tied you and me up, no matter how honest you swore to no hinderance. Folks said it was plain she did not want yus. It give me a queer feelin’ to see that girl. It give me a wish to tell her to her face that she did not love yus and did not know love. Wait—wait, Lin! Yu’ never hit me yet.”

“No,” said the cow-puncher. “Nor now. I’m not Lusk.”

“Yu’ looked so—so bad, Lin. I never seen yu’ look so bad in old days. Wait, now, and I must tell it. I wished to laugh in her face and say, ‘What do you know about love?’ So I walked in. Lin, she does love yus!”

“Yes,” breathed McLean.

“She was sittin’ back in her room at Separ. Not the ticket-office, but—”

“I know,” the cow-puncher said. His eyes were burning.

“It’s snug, the way she has it. ‘Good-afternoon,’ I says. ‘Is this Miss Jessamine Buckner?’”

At his sweetheart’s name the glow in Lin’s eyes seemed to quiver to a flash.

“And she spoke pleasant to me—pleasant and gay-like. But a woman can tell sorrow in a woman’s eyes. And she asked me would I rest in her room there, and what was my name. ‘They tell me you claim to know it better than I do,’ I says. ‘They tell me you say it is Mrs. McLean.’ She put her hand on her breast, and she keeps lookin’ at me without never speaking. ‘Maybe I am not so welcome now,’ I says. ‘One minute,’ says she. ‘Let me get used to it.’ And she sat down.

“Lin, she is a square-lookin’ girl. I’ll say that for her.

“I never thought to sit down onced myself; I don’t know why, but I kep’ a-standing, and I took in that room of hers. She had flowers and things around there, and I seen your picture standing on the table, and I seen your six-shooter right by it—and, oh, Lin, hadn’t I knowed your face before ever she did, and that gun you used to let me shoot on Bear Creek? It took me that sudden! Why, it rushed over me so I spoke right out different from what I’d meant and what I had ready fixed up to say.

“‘Why did you do it?’ I says to her, while she was a-sitting. ‘How could you act so, and you a woman?’ She just sat, and her sad eyes made me madder at the idea of her. ‘You have had real sorrow,’ says I, ‘if they report correct. You have knowed your share of death, and misery, and hard work, and all. Great God! ain’t there things enough that come to yus uncalled for and natural, but you must run around huntin’ up more that was leavin’ yus alone and givin’ yus a chance? I knowed him onced. I knowed your Lin McLean. And when that was over, I knowed for the first time how men can be different.’ I’m started, Lin, I’m started. Leave me go on, and when I’m through I’ll quit. ‘Some of ‘em, anyway,’ I says to her, ‘has hearts and self-respect, and ain’t hogs clean through.’

“‘I know,” she says, thoughtful-like.

“And at her whispering that way I gets madder.

“‘You know!’ I says then. ‘What is it that you know? Do you know that you have hurt a good man’s heart? For onced I hurt it myself, though different. And hurts in them kind of hearts stays. Some hearts is that luscious and pasty you can stab ‘em and it closes up so yu’d never suspicion the place—but Lin McLean! Nor yet don’t yus believe his is the kind that breaks—if any kind does that. You may sit till the gray hairs, and you may wall up your womanhood, but if a man has got manhood like him, he will never sit till the gray hairs. Grief over losin’ the best will not stop him from searchin’ for a second best after a while. He wants a home, and he has got a right to one,’ says